Deep Desire

When Feng Si’s WeChat message came in again, Lu Jingshen had just finished showering and came out of the bathroom. He saw the new message that popped up and paused in the middle of drying his hair with a towel.

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Lu Jingshen slowly opened the chat interface, only two words: “Sleeping?”

He blankly stared at the screen for a moment, then a sudden video request popped up. Without thinking, he instinctively declined it.

The other side immediately sent another request. Lu Jingshen hesitated for a moment, then finally accepted it. The screen displayed Feng Si’s carefree and wandering smile. It seemed like he had been drinking, with a noisy and dim bar environment behind him.

Lu Jingshen furrowed his brow and was about to end the call, but Feng Si said, “Don’t hang up,” and turned to speak to someone off the screen in English, “See? I didn’t lie to you. This is my boyfriend.”

Then, a woman’s voice of complaint, mixed with a hint of annoyance, came through. Feng Si laughed softly, and the phone screen shook as he walked out of the bar.

Lu Jingshen coldly watched him, as Feng Si casually loosened his shirt collar, exuding a more debauched appearance. In a lowered voice with a hint of intoxication, he said, “Are you angry?”

“It’s your brother,” he lazily explained, walking towards the direction of the hotel. “I had dinner with them tonight and then went to the bar for a drink. But they ran away, leaving me alone to deal with those troublesome women. So, I had no choice but to pretend to call my boyfriend. Anyway, they don’t even know you.”

Lu Jingshen remained unmoved. “Are you done talking?”

“Don’t hang up,” Feng Si casually interrupted him. “Alex, your brother and his friend are quite interesting. They spent the whole evening investigating me. They dug into my background, past relationships, everything. What do they want?”

Lu Jingshen’s voice turned cold. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“Of course, I won’t tell them,” Feng Si lightly blinked his eyes. “Unless you personally ask me to.”

Lu Jingshen furrowed his brow but didn’t respond to his words.

Feng Si didn’t mind. “Well, then let me ask you, Alex. Your brother said you’re homophobic. Is that true?”

The person on the screen narrowed his eyes, and Lu Jingshen’s expression darkened slightly.

Feng Si chuckled softly, “Homophobic, I see. Alright, let’s leave it at that.”

His laughter pierced through the airwaves, gently striking Lu Jingshen’s eardrums. Feng Si was probably really drunk, his gaze a bit blurry, staring straight at him through the phone screen.

Lu Jingshen was a bit dry-mouthed as he was being stared at by him. Feng Si had already returned to the hotel and entered his room. When he closed the door, his hoarse voice became even more ambiguous: “Alex, did you just take a bath?”

Lu Jingshen was wrapped in a bathrobe, his hair half-dried. There was a hint of sensuality on his handsome face after the hot steam, although he himself was ignorant and unaware.

He still didn’t speak, and the red hang-up button remained untouched.

Feng Si walked into the bathroom and began to undress. One by one, he unbuttoned his shirt, and the camera could see his exposed chest. Lu Jingshen watched, and an unconscious lump formed in his throat. He heard the person on the other side call his name.

“Alex, it’s one in the morning.”

One in the morning, they had once watched the stars together in the desolate wilderness of Africa, using a car engine cover as their seat, indulging in an intimate cuddle.

Distant memories surfaced clearly in his mind, like an implicit hint. Lu Jingshen mumbled vaguely, “Hmm.”

He could hear the other person’s panting, low and seductive, teasing his nerves relentlessly.

Although he couldn’t see it, he knew what Feng Si was doing. Feng Si didn’t have a shred of restraint, his drunken eyes fixed on him. The muscles of his shoulders and arms moved, indicating his actions.

He was still smiling, a smile full of seductive implications. “Alex, do you want to join me?”

Lu Jingshen leaned against the head of the bed, facing the black and shiny eyes filled with intense desire on the phone screen. He also saw himself in the small window next to it, confused and sinking, with the same expression as Feng Si, instinctively unable to look a second time.

Feng Si’s voice continued to tempt him, “If you want to do it, nobody will know.”

Lu Jingshen swallowed again, slowly opening the bedside drawer next to him and taking out a glove he had put in there in the morning.

The leather glove was filled with Feng Si’s scent, lingering at his nostrils. Lu Jingshen sensed an unusual excitement in his body, even his fingertips trembled with excitement. His palms were slightly sweaty with warmth as he put the leather glove on his right hand and reached down.

He didn’t let Feng Si on the other side of the camera see anything from start to finish. When he firmly grasped it, Lu Jingshen let out a heavy gasp, closed his eyes, and tilted his head back.

The heavy breathing and panting from both ends of the phone gradually intertwined.

When the video call ended, it had lasted for an hour and a half. From the moment Feng Si left the bar until Lu Jingshen took a second shower.

In the last frame, Feng Si’s face showed an even more satisfied and pleased expression, along with the rare tenderness of “good night.”

The call was cut off on that end.

Lu Jingshen was stunned for a moment, then put down the hot phone.

In the following week, Feng Si occasionally sent one or two messages to Lu Jingshen, saying various things.

Lu Jingshen never replied, and he didn’t make another call.

Lu Chixie also sent WeChat messages to Lu Jingshen from time to time, and every sentence was related to Feng Si.

“Captain Feng went fishing at sea with two beautiful flight attendants today. It’s past sunset and they haven’t come back yet. I guess they’re enjoying a sunset dinner on a yacht.”

“At noon, we ran into Captain Feng at the restaurant. He flirted with three or four female college students on vacation from Europe and made them all fight to pay for him.”

“He’s quite impressive. He can talk eloquently about the perfumes, lipsticks, and cosmetics that women use. How many girlfriends has he had in the past?”

“Feng Si went surfing again today and invited a handsome blond guy along. It’s obvious that he likes men, and he’s very enthusiastic about him.”

“He went to a bar to drink with that handsome guy in the evening. I don’t know when they’ll come back.”

…

…

Messages like these came almost every day, but Lu Jingshen ignored them all.

However, Liu Jie keenly noticed that her boss seemed to be in a bad mood recently, and he had started working overtime in the company going home late at night.

As for the reason, when she walked out of Lu Jingshen’s office and saw the empty desk in the secretary’s office, Liu Jie suddenly realized that it might be related to that person.

When Lu Chixie sent another message, Lu Jingshen was at a social event. He casually glanced at the phone screen. This time it was a video.

Five minutes later, he splashed cold water on his face in the restroom and didn’t immediately return to the dining table. He walked into the empty stairwell to catch his breath, took out his phone, hesitated, and then clicked on that video.

On a makeshift music stage by the seaside, Feng Si was playing the electric guitar.

He  casually sat on a high stool, plucking the guitar strings absentmindedly. His lazy voice exuded a hint of playfulness and casualness as he sang a song he had sung to Lu Jingshen years ago.

“Just let me fall

In your arms like I am a leaf”

That was also in the vast and boundless wilderness of Africa, on a starry midnight. Feng Si held a borrowed old guitar and lightly plucked the strings, using his slightly hoarse voice that had been passionate and lingering to sing it over and over again for him.

The slightly intoxicated eyes, the lingering murmurs, were like enchanting poppies, tempting him to sink and unable to free himself.

Lu Jingshen recalled the past, becoming somewhat absent-minded for a moment.

The thirty-second video quickly finished playing, and Lu Chixie sent another voice message, jokingly saying, “Bro, Lingzhuo says that if Captain Feng decides to switch to the entertainment industry, both of us might end up unemployed.”

He also attached a photo, a candid shot of Feng Si with a teasing look in his eyes. Although his gaze only grazed the camera, it gave Lu Jingshen the feeling of being locked onto.

Lu Jingshen stared at it blankly, then clicked on the previous video once again.

After Lu Chixie sent the voice message and casually put down his phone, Lingzhuo nudged him, “Why do you always tease Lu Jingshen about Captain Feng? Did he respond to you? he probably thinks you’re crazy.”

“You don’t understand,” Lingzhuo smiled and said, “My brother has a bunch of rules, he’s fussy and a perfectionist. If I told him I want to stay at his place, he might even book a hotel for me and tell me to leave quickly. But Captain Feng, he has smoothly moved into my brother’s single apartment under the guise of being a personal assistant. Why do you think that is? I heard he’s especially audacious in front of my brother. With his personality, my brother is actually willing to keep him by his side, even let him stay at home. Isn’t that unusual?”

Lingzhuo looked doubtful, “Really? So, Lu Jingshen and Captain Fēng, are they really…?”

Lu Chixie shrugged and smiled, “Who knows?”

“What is it?” Feng Si’s voice sounded behind them.

Both Lingzhuo and Lu Chixie turned around, and the charismatic captain stood there with his hands in his pockets. There were lipstick marks on the collar of his shirt, where a woman had seemingly kissed him when he got off stage. He didn’t pay it any mind and asked them again, “What did you guys say about me and Mr Lu?”

Lingzhuo felt a bit embarrassed, while Lu Chixie crossed his arms and playfully asked him, “Shouldn’t we be asking you that? So, Captain Feng, tell us, what’s the real relationship between you and my brother?”

Feng Si pretended to ponder, looked up at the sparkling night sky, and mysteriously said, “The stars here are quite bright.”

The colors of the starry sky reflected in his eyes, but the brilliance only remained on the surface, while beneath it seemed fleeting and melancholic.

Lingzhuo noticed it and was slightly surprised, “Captain Feng, you…”

Feng Si’s gaze returned to them, still wearing a nonchalant expression, “As for this question, I don’t have the final say. You’ll have to ask your brother.”

As the video played for the third time, Lu Jingshen stood in the dimly lit stairwell, looking at his elongated shadow on the ground, feeling an urge to smoke.

He reached into his pocket and realized that he had left the cigarette he took on the dining table. After standing there for a moment, he heard Liu Jie’s voice calling for him from the corridor outside. Lu Jingshen snapped back to reality, forced himself to gather his scattered thoughts, and pushed the door open.