Deep Desire

In the following days, Lu Jingshen attended business negotiations during the day and dealt with various evening banquets and party invitations. He didn’t stop for a moment.

He initially thought Feng Si wouldn’t be able to stand the loneliness and would go out to have fun, but he didn’t.

Feng Si not only stuck by his side every day, but also took on a large part of Liu Jie’s work, organizing everything for Lu Jingshen both externally and internally.

“I wonder if I’ve impressed boss Lu with my performance as his personal assistant?” Feng Si asked with a smile as he personally tied Lu Jingshen’s tie.

Lu Jingshen’s gaze went past his shoulder and looked at himself in the mirror ahead. He had just dozed off on the couch for a while, and he still looked exhausted.

He hadn’t fully adjusted to the time difference since he arrived, and he had been constantly busy for four days. Sometimes he felt too tired to speak, but he still had to make an effort to socialize with people. Liu Jie and the others were capable, but many things required his approval. Without him initiating, others wouldn’t dare to act, so in the end, it still fell on him.

But Feng Si was different. He  seemed oblivious to the meaning of not crossing the line. He dared to interfere in billion-dollar businesses without permission, and he came up with ideas for Lu Jingshen without any hesitation.

“What are you thinking?” Feng Si had one hand in his pocket and used the other to straighten Lu Jingshen’s shirt collar.

Lu Jingshen closed his eyes, and in front of him was Feng Si’s calm face. It seemed Feng Si was always so composed, effortlessly finding his weak spots.

Facing Lu Jingshen’s gaze, which seemed absent-minded and yet fixed on him, Feng Si raised an eyebrow and said, “Are you sleeping with your eyes open?”

Lu Jingshen snapped back to reality, uninterested in Feng Si’s sarcastic remark.

Feng Si adjusted his tie and said, “Your schedule is packed every day. You come back to the hotel and stay up late reviewing documents. Is it necessary to push yourself so hard?”

Lu Jingshen asked, “How do you know?”

“You’re asking me how I know that you stay up every night?” Feng Si said with a smile, “Look at your eyes, you have dark circles.”

He reminded Lu Jingshen, “If you really trust your sister, then give her more responsibility. Why do you need to take on everything yourself?”

Lu Jingshen explained in a calm voice, “There have been personnel changes at the senior level of the company, and I’m afraid someone might take advantage of the situation.”

Actually, he knew it was not a  good time to go on vacation. He should have attended the business trip and returned immediately, but somehow, he indulged in Fengsi’s self-will.

“Even if someone takes advantage of the situation, can’t the president handle it?” Fengsi shrugged.Among the three siblings, I think you’re the one who’s most tired, right? Being so tense every day, isn’t it uncomfortable?”

Lu Jing’s expression darkened, and Fengsi clicked his tongue. “You’re frowning again.”

He raised his finger and grazed Lu Jingshen’s Adam’s apple, satisfied with the momentary panic that flashed in his eyes.

The more Lu Jingshen restrained himself in front of others, the more people wanted to ravage him, to see that craving and lack of self-control that only emerged when he was immersed in desire.

Lu Jingshen turned his face away, avoiding his touch. “That’s enough.”

Fengsi smirked and withdrew his hand.

In the evening, Lu Jingshen attended a private dance party, accompanied only by Fengsi.

Enthusiastic Gregorian waltzes, bright crystal chandeliers, the revolving patterns of light on the dance floor, swaying skirts, whispered conversations, the long and cold night secluded outside. Not all Scandinavians were as unsociable as Lu Jingshen thought.

That kind of occasion wasn’t suitable for Lu Jingshen, but the person who sent the invitation had just concluded a big deal with him, and it was difficult to refuse. So he had to attend.

Except for greeting the host upon arrival, Lu Jingshen stood on the sidelines throughout the event, holding a glass of red wine, taking occasional sips, and planning to leave when the time was right.

Fortunately, not many people there recognized him. Occasionally, someone friendly would pass by and exchange a few words, which wasn’t difficult to handle.

Fengsi leaned against him, casually throwing chocolates into his mouth. That kind of event suited him, but he had to stick by Lu Jingshen’s side, fulfilling his duty.

A lady in a formal dress approached, inviting Lu Jingshen to dance in English. Lu Jingshen apologetically replied, “Sorry, I don’t know how to.”

The lady looked slightly disappointed and offered to teach him, but Lu Jingshen still refused.

Fengsi stood up straight and subtly blocked Lu Jingshen. He smiled at the lady, bowed, and extended his right hand in a classic British gentleman’s dance invitation, despite his mismatched attire.

“May I have this dance with you?”

The lady raised her head and her gaze fell on Fengsi’s handsome face. She didn’t like pretentious British men, but the oriental features of the person in front of her attracted her. Reluctantly, she reached out her hand and placed it in Fengsi’s palm.

The waltz continued, grand and magnificent. The music, laughter, the spinning figures in the dance floor, the scent of perfume and flowers in the air—everything made Lu Jingshen uncomfortable.

He stood alone in the corner of the dance floor, with only himself left. Whether it was the effect of alcohol or the dazzling lights above, he felt dizzy.

The surroundings gradually turned into flowing illusions, but the smiling eyes of the person in the middle of his vision remained fixed on him.

As the drink slid down his throat, Lu Jingshen felt even dizzier. Those eyes that had been smiling all along started to merge with a scene from his memory.

On the third day of his adventurous journey, his belongings were stolen, and he tried to borrow money to rent a car to the next big city, but no one paid attention to him except for the dusty Hummer that stopped in front of him. The man in the car had a cigarette in his mouth, leaning against the door, and his smiling eyes shamelessly scrutinized him.

“A naive young master dares to come here alone. Do you want to come with me?”

That’s what the person said. He thought Lu Jingshen didn’t understand, but Lu Jingshen understood and followed that person.

“Do you want to come with me?”

Fengsi’s voice interrupted, and Lu Jingshen’s pupils slightly contracted as he snapped out of his reminiscence, looking at the person who had returned to his side without knowing when.

Fengsi smiled and asked, “What were you just thinking? You look startled.”

Lu Jingshen replied, “What did you just say?”

“Do you want to come with me?” Fengsi said and pointed at his wristwatch. “It’s about time. Shall we go?”

As soon as he finished speaking, he seemed to realize something, and the smile in his eyes deepened. “Is there something wrong with that sentence?”

Lu Jingshen quickly composed himself and calmly said, “No, let’s go.”

They left the dance party, and it was 11 p.m., a quiet late night with only a few lights around.

Their car was parked outside, and this time, Fengsi didn’t open the car door for Lu Jingshen as before. Instead, he suggested, “The hotel isn’t far from here. Shall we walk back?”

Lu Jingshen was reluctant, but Fengsi grabbed his wrist and gestured to the driver, speaking a few words in Norwegian. The driver nodded and drove away alone.

Lu Jingshen knew that Fengsi could speak Norwegian. In the past few days, he had translated for them more than once. He suddenly wondered if Fengsi had learned the language during the six months he spent there.

Fengsi released his hand, triumphant. “Now you can only walk back with me.”

Lu Jingshen’s hands were in his coat pockets, feeling a bit cold. Fortunately, he could tolerate it. “Let’s go.”

Fengsi casually took off his scarf and threw it to him. “Take it.”

Lu Jingshen instinctively reached out and accepted it. Before he could refuse, Fengsi had already taken a step forward. Looking up, Lu Jingshen saw the broad and straight shoulders under the person’s leather jacket. After hesitating for a moment, he wrapped the scarf, which carried Fengsi’s scent, around his neck.

“Next time, wear more layers when going out. It’s cold here in winter.” Fengsi said when he saw Lu Jingshen catching up.

Lu Jingshen hesitated and asked, “Did you learn Norwegian while working here for six months?”

Fengsi casually nodded. “Yeah.”

 “It seems like you’ve had many different jobs before.”

Fengsi turned his head. “Are you interested in knowing the reason?”

His eyes were even more vivid and bright in the darkness, carrying an indescribable meaning. Lu Jingshen avoided his gaze. “Never mind.”

Fengsi let out a faint sneer, and Lu Jingshen lowered his head, walking forward in silence.

As he walked, he watched his elongated shadow on the ground under the streetlights until Feng Si behind him grabbed his arm. “Look ahead.”

Lu Jingshen paused, raising his eyes to follow Fengsi’s line of sight. In the distant horizon, a faint green light appeared, like a floating jade ribbon or a gentle flowing river. Soon, it transformed into various vibrant colors, vividly painting the night sky.

It was the aurora borealis, not as bright and distinct as seen from an airplane, but like a magical show under the night sky.

As Lu Jingshen became entranced by the sight, he heard a laughter close to his ear. “You’re really lucky. It’s not always possible to see the aurora here. I’ve been here for half a year, and this is the first time I’ve witnessed it.”

Lu Jingshen turned his head to look at him.

Under the aurora and the starry night, Fengsi’s gaze was tender and affectionate, easily pulling Lu Jingshen in.

“Why are you staring at me?” Fengsi’s voice brought Lu Jingshen back to reality. Unconsciously, he licked his slightly dry lips. “Let’s go.”

As they rode the elevator upstairs, Fengsi glanced at Lu Jingshen, who seemed slightly uncomfortable. Suddenly, he said, “you left something with me. Do you want to retrieve it?”

His tone sounded casual, but it carried a certain implication.

The elevator doors opened, and Lu Jingshen silently followed him out.

As soon as they entered the room, Fengsi pushed Lu Jing inside and forcefully closed the door, leaving the lights off.

In the darkness, he pressed Lu Jingshen against the wall, leaning in close and asking, “How far do you plan to go tonight?”

Lu Jingshen felt embarrassed. “Let go.”

“You want to run after coming here?” Fengsi reminded him. “Lu Jingshen, you walked right into this yourself.”

There wasn’t a trace of light in the room, and Lu Jingshen couldn’t see the mockery on Fengsi’s face. Only through his voice could he imagine the expression he had while saying those words.

But indeed, he had walked right into that himself.

They silently confronted each other. Lu Jingshen couldn’t bring himself to say the words he wanted Fengsi to do to him. In the past, a single glance from him would make Fengsi understand his intentions.

But Feng Si now said that unless he spoke up, he wouldn’t get what he wanted.

Fengsi heard Lu Jingshen’s intensified breathing, and his hand, pressed against Lu Jingshen’s lower back, wickedly said, “If you don’t speak, I won’t do anything, I need you to voice out what you want.”

After a brief standoff, Lu Jingshen raised his hand and forcefully pulled at Fengsi’s collar, imitating what Fengsi had done earlier, and fiercely bit down on his Adam’s apple.

Fengsi was pulled forward and stumbled a step, with their lower bodies almost pressed together. Despite having a physical reaction himself, Fengsi remained composed and controlled the rhythm.

Lu Jingshen resolutely couldn’t bring himself to say that he wanted Fengsi to take him. His good manners prevented him from cursing, but Fengsi’s mischievous hand shifted forward. “If you don’t want to say it, forget it. Let’s do as we did before.”

In the end, they used their mouths.

As Lu Jingshen fell onto the bed, his body was completely out of control. In the darkness, he couldn’t find a focal point for his gaze, so he relied on his senses to touch the other person’s body. It was ambiguous and eager, enough to burn away his reason.

When the lights came on, Lu Jingshen struggled to blink his eyes. In his blurry vision, he gradually saw Fengsi’s lowered eyes, which were different from his smiling expression at the dance party hours ago. Those dark eyes contained a brewing storm, as if they were about to engulf him.

But it lasted only a few moments.

Lu Jingshen regained his senses. Fengsi wiped off parts of Lu Jingshen that had stained his lips and reminded him, “I’m going to take a shower. Lu Jingshen, do as you please.”

Lu Jingshen subconsciously grabbed his arm, and Fengsi calmly looked back. “Is there something else?”

His breathing was still somewhat unsteady, and he tightened his grip on Fengsi’s arm. Despite being on the verge of speaking, he couldn’t bring himself to say anything under Fengsi’s composed gaze.

Fengsi nonchalantly brushed his hand away and decisively headed into the bathroom.

Lu Jingshen lay on the bed, closed his eyes, and struggled to sit up. Unconsciously licking his lips, he tasted a flavor that made him furrow his brows. But the more he felt this way, the harder it became for him to express his true desires.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Lu Jingshen was lost in thought for a moment. He heard the sound of water coming from the bathroom and reluctantly snapped back to reality. He grabbed a tissue and wiped himself, then redressed in the disheveled clothes. Silently, he left the room.

Back in the room, he didn’t turn on the lights and stood in the darkness for a while. He walked towards the sofa in the dark and rummaged through his suitcase, finding what he was looking for in the innermost layer.

It was a sex toy that he had put in before coming here when he packed his luggage. Lu Jingshen couldn’t remember what he was thinking at the time, maybe it was a stroke of fate, or perhaps he had anticipated that he would need it.

He pressed the switch, feeling the frequency of the vibrations warming his palm. He rarely used such things and had a psychological aversion to them. He didn’t want to admit that he needed it to experience true pleasure, but now he didn’t care about that anymore.

Closing his eyes, he leaned back into the sofa. Lu Jingshen tremblingly reached down and slowly pulled down the zipper of his trousers.