Don’t Be a Kept Man

Chapter 70: To Ship or Not to Ship Billion Years?1

The same kind of post, with the same kind of actions done to it, but the meaning was as different as heaven and hell.

These two parallel actions by Chen Yi had people’s eyes pop out of their sockets from shock. On one side, he reshared the celebrity’s post, and on the other, he cursed someone’s fan as “sb”, making it difficult to realize what kind of attitude he was really endorsing. Even being bipolar didn’t play out like this.

The prominent fan of Ah Ya who mentioned Chen Yi in her post was called Love Ya Ya2 and she almost instantly replied to Chen Yi, bringing an interrogative tone to her message.

[ We don’t have the intention to cause a fight, so may we ask, what did you want to express when you replied with that? ]

Chen Yi had just logged on and didn’t have a reason to not reply, and so this time he even added six more english letters, just to be very nice and explain.

[ you are sb ]

What this kind of meaning gets translated as, well, everyone should understand, right?

Ah Ya’s fans immediately blew up to the point where they could even reach the sky. Those who were more impulsive went down the list of swears and applied them all from the first generation of his ancestors to his current generation. Some fans who still had a bit of a brain on their heads were frantically trying to maintain their idol’s innocent image, and those who were in it for the drama were having the time of their lives. 

With the shitty attitude of Ah Ya’s fans, if you’re going to publish a post, then publish the post. If you’re going to pretend to be an innocent bitch, then pretend to be innocent. What kind of mind do they have to mention Chen Yi? Do they truly think they run the world?

This action was no different than rubbing Ah Ya’s face into the ground and then stomping on it a few times. And so half an hour later, she immediately @ Chen Yi on her post.

@AH YA: First I must apologize to you. No one had thought that what happened today could have happened, and no one would have wanted it to happen. My fans are just overly concerned for me, and hence we have arrived at this misunderstanding. Ya Ya has no malignance, and if there was anything that went over the line, I apologize for her. She is very young, and a very young girl at that. She was just crying to me as she asked if there was anything she had done wrong, and my heart aches for her and for the loss of her youthful naivety. I hope everyone can lend a bit of their patience and tolerance, and have it in their hearts to be a little more generous.

Who that last sentence was directed to, everyone knew in their hearts. Some passersby who did not know the truth were swept up and redirected again, even bringing up Chen Yi’s terrible attitude to Li Su Li in the variety show, pointing at him for having no gentlemanly manners.

There were some netizens who could not see eye to eye with this kind of “innocent” act of Ah Ya and they battled back against those netizens. The situation then started turning into a big mess again, but at this time, those not involved in the beginning could not top the original people involved, no matter how many words they spouted. And so before these millions of eyes, Chen Yi finally logged back on and this time, sent these words:

[ Everyone’s equal ]

He could use even more sharply written words to make Ah Ya lose face, but there were no better words than those to mock her back.

Age, sex and status, these were never reasons for her to unconcernedly smush poo into other people’s necks. Because Chen Yi will break her leg before she can even jump on him to do so.

Three minutes later, Ah Ya deleted her post.

Chen Xiao Meng was just making dinner, and she had bought some seafood, hoping to boil some soup to buff up Chen Yi and make up for any lacking nutrition he had not been getting. She washed off all the grime from the raw ingredients, and then without any logic or following any recipes, she threw them all into the pot, not even taking off the shells, creating clangs and clanks as they went down.

Chen Yi blocked Zhou Ming and then turned off his phone. He crossed his arms, watching Chen Xiao Meng for a while from a distance away and then finally couldn’t keep himself from saying, 

“…… are you making a witch’s brew?”

The heavens could act as his witness as he really had no bad thoughts towards his sister in saying that.

Chen Xiao Meng paused in her movements and lifted her head to look at him, 

“I said today that I would make seafood soup, to supplement whatever vitamins and minerals you are lacking. These are all really beneficial and healthy. Brother, you can’t even cook, so don’t give out random opinions so freely.”

Chen Yi thought in his heart, you sure know how to cook, but how could it be described as the art of cooking? Compared to Fu Xiu Nian, her food was absolutely disgusting.

Saturday night at 8, <<I Came From Far Away>> uploaded its official complete and edited version. Because of all the things that happened the past few days, quite a few people were anticipating the release of the show. 

At 7pm, Chen Yi was putting on his shoes, ready to head out. Chen Xiao Meng asked him suspiciously, 

“What are you going out so late for? Let’s eat dinner first before you go.”

Chen Yi: “I’m going to try and see which nearby restaurant is better, and then I’ll bring some takeout back for you.”

Chen Xiao Meng glared at him, 

“You are living a blessed life without knowing that it’s blessed. Even though my food isn’t good, it’s not terrible. No takeout outside is more safe than homemade food.”

And then added, 

“Make sure to cover your face up well. What if you encounter an anti that attacks you?”

Chen Yi: “Not worried at all. I’ll fight each one that comes at me.”

The community they lived in was quite quiet and clean, and the temperature at night had cooled down by quite a few degrees. Underneath the streetlamps, one could faintly see some flying bugs going around in circles. And underneath the shade of the trees by the road was a parked car. And in the driver’s seat, sat a young man wearing a black baseball cap. The majority of his face was shrouded in darkness, and when he would occasionally lift his head, his eyes seemed to be as clear as the shining moon.

Chen Yi came down the elevator and scanned through the heavy duty glass windows of the car before opening the passenger door. He said to the man in the driver’s seat, 

“Not bad. Using a car worth at least a hundred thousand and more to pick me up.”

Fu Xiu Nian didn’t know what to say to Chen Yi as this car was already one of the cheapest in his garage. He turned on the car as he said, 

“What kind of car did you think I would come pick you up with?”

Chen Yi: “A farming tractor.”

There was a perfectly packaged takeout box in the backseat, and Fu Xiu Nian was already in the middle of grabbing it. When he heard Chen Yi, he immediately retracted his hand. Chen Yi reached out with his long arms and took it himself instead, 

“You were the one who invited me as a guest to your house. You were the one who asked me to watch a show with you. And now you won’t let me eat even one box of takeout? This is not the attitude of a good human being.”

Fu Xiu Nian was slow in retracting his hand and so when Chen Yi’s palm passed by the back of his hand, it was as if in that moment he had grabbed him. In this small dark enclosed space, his five senses were enhanced, where every tiny movement was magnified by infinity.

Fu Xiu Nian inhaled sharply and his ears were slowly burning red. His heart for some reason also suddenly pumped fervently, one furious beat at a time, as if they could burst his eardrums with their fast paced rhythm.

As if he was scared that Chen Yi could hear it, he quickly pressed on the gas pedal.

The food was fairly abundant: three dishes and a soup plus two smaller boxes of side dishes. The taste wasn’t bad either and so Chen Yi polished it all off. When they were at a traffic light, Fu Xiu Nian discreetly gave him a glance and then quickly moved his gaze away.

Chen Yi seemed to sense it however and turned to look at him, 

“Have you been mesmerised by my handsome good looks?”

Fu Xiu Nian paused in shock and then slightly hooked up the corners of his mouth, 

“I’m your loyal fan, the kind that is loyal to the death. As this kind of fan, isn’t it normal for me to think that my idol is handsome?”

And then hesitantly asked, 

“Was the food good?”

Chen Yi: “Not bad.” 

At least better than Chen Xiao Meng’s food.

Fu Xiu Nian smiled with his eyes curved up, 

“Then I’ll bring some again for you next time.”

There was a very pure aura emitting from his body, as if he was an excited child who just received some candy. Since Chen Yi was six, he had never had these kinds of emotions well up in him and couldn’t help but give Fu Xiu Nian a few more glances.

Fu Xiu Nian was provided temporary housing by his company. It was fairly middle class, and so the environment was pretty quiet and clean and there was no need to worry about the paparazzi. Chen Yi took a look at the interior the moment he walked in, and he stopped in front of a shelf in the book room.

He curiously examined a jade buddha, 

“Is this real?”

Fu Xiu Nian poured him a glass of water as he said with a very calm expression, 

“Not even a thousand yuan. It’s fake. If you like it, I’ll give it to you.”

Chen Yi put the jade buddha, that was worth about six hundred thousand back, and then scolded Fu Xiu Nian from the bottom of his heart, 

“It’s fake and you give it to me?”

Fu Xiu Nian held in his laughter and turned his body away from him, 

“Because I can’t afford real ones.”

The show had been uploaded in its entirety with its exclusive online extras and Fu Xiu Nian turned on the television to connect it to the platform app on his phone. He asked for Chen Yi’s opinion when he discovered that there were seven episodes in total, 

“Where should we start?”

Chen Yi held up his chin, 

“When I came back from the hospital.”

Fu Xiu Nian thought the same thing. He took some fruits and beverages from the fridge and placed it onto the coffee table. Then he turned off the lights and sat next to Chen Yi on the sofa to binge watch together, creating a bit of an atmosphere as if they were to be watching a movie.

It was the first time that Chen Yi saw himself on the tv monitor and there was a solemness, a sense of seriousness reflected in his eyes. And on screen, there were quite a few netizens that did the same, jumping to this exact point as there were numerous comments flying across.

[ Second time reporting here. ]

[ Please I beg you, we must conquer the poisonous mouth of Chen Yi hahahahaha ]

[ For the benefit of everyone, please watch the last two episodes. Every second of it is top notch lololol ]

When Fu Xiu Nian saw the scrolling comments on the screen, he realized he forgot to turn them off. He grabbed his phone beside him and was about to turn them off when without even turning his head, Chen Yi stopped his hand.

“Don’t turn it off.”

Chen Yi’s expression was very calm and his voice was very low, unconsciously stealing the hearts of others.

Fu Xiu Nian paused dumbly and blankly agreed. When that heat on the back of his hand left, he used the cover of the darkness to hold it with his other hand.

The screen was at the part where they were catching fish and Chen Yi was lazily crouching by the banks. Nonchalantly mocking Fu Xiu Nian, with a stoic expression which, even through the monitor, was displaying that very dominant aura. There were a few netizens who saw him for the first time being successfully snatched by their hearts, and the screen was full of [awsl].3

[ Sisters!! Let me help you, watch from episode 6! Fuck it’s so funny hahaha!! ]

[ Chen Yi’s mouth is so poisonous even now. What should I do if I’ve fallen for him ]

The moment this comment popped up, the entire screen filled with agreement. But there were still no less in anti-fans and their hate comments. But there was also another group, one who was interested in other things such as this particular comment that flew by within the crowd:

[ Don’t you think that there’s such a CP feeling between Fu Xiu Nian and Chen Yi? Chen Yi’s always scolding Fu Xiu Nian, but he still goes and helps him catch fish for his portion ]

[ I’ve already thought about the CP name, Billion Year ]

The moment Fu Xiu Nian saw that comment, for some reason his heart constricted and he unconsciously turned to look at Chen Yi. But the other was just popping open a bag of chips with his head lowered and so he probably didn’t see it. There was a moment where he couldn’t say if that was a relief or a disappointment.

Sometimes being in the situation, as the people involved, you can be muddled and blinded and those on the outside had the most clear vision. Perhaps there wouldn’t be much feelings from those involved, but with the events happening as they were, more and more people started shipping the CP, so much more that others could not ignore them.

[ I found that every time Chen Yi roasts Li Su Li, it’s mostly because of Fu Xiu Nian. Weak gentle shou X prickly pear with a poisonous mouth gong. I’m shipping Billion Year!! ]

[ Hu hu hu, there’s so many things to munch on. Fu Xiu Nian’s so weak in front of Chen Yi, doing whatever he’s told ]

[ A good wife and motherly shou. This fan cannot take it anymore! I want to push him down ahhhhhh! ]

When these comments were building up and up, Fu Xiu Nian thought the comments on the screen must be turned off. He was so nervous and anxious that his hands were breaking out in a cold sweat. He blindly tried to find his phone on the couch and noisily opened……

Chen Yi didn’t even turn his head and quietly said in the dark, 

“The phone you just took is mine.”

Fu Xiu Nian paused and realized only then that the phone size was not right. He clumsily and quickly put it back, 

“Sorry, I grabbed the wrong one.”

Chen Yi asked, 

“Do you have ADHD? This is a show you filmed with your idol. Should you not be a bit more serious in watching this? You keep fiddling around like this and I’ll become suspicious that you are really a fake fan.”

Fu Xiu Nian didn’t dare to move then and tried his hardest to ignore those comments on screen, being more serious than the time he was a student listening to his teacher in school.

When the episode was more than halfway over, Chen Yi’s phone vibrated. Chen Yi took a look, and seeing that it was Chen Xiao Meng in the caller ID display, he didn’t hesitate to accept the call.

“Hello?”

Chen Xiao Meng’s voice gently passed over the speakers, 

“Brother, it’s me. When will you be back today?”

Hearing this, Chen Yi wanted to say that he’d be back in a bit, but he only heard her say without waiting for a response from him, 

“Come back early ok? I made some midnight snacks for you.”

Chen Yi immediately replied, 

“I have some things to do today, and I’m sleeping overnight at a friend’s house, so I won’t go back. Rest early ok.”

He ended the call under the strange gaze of Fu Xiu Nian and calmly opened a drink. He asked, 

“Are you ok with letting me sleep here for tonight?”

Fu Xiu Nian used the darkness as a cover to hold a hand by his heart, feeling like he had experienced too many things that he couldn’t really bear today, 

“My house doesn’t have a guest room. Why don’t you sleep in my room then.”

Chen Yi asked, 

“Are you going to sleep on the floor?”

Fu Xiu Nian: “……I’ll sleep on the sofa.”

Chen Yi thought, what a rare real personality, and patted him on the shoulder like good brothers, 

“That’s not very good. Let’s just sleep together. We’re both men, what are you so afraid of.”

Fu Xiu Nian was silent for a bit, 

“I’m not very still when I sleep at night. I’m afraid of kicking you out of the bed, so I should just sleep on the sofa then.”

Chen Yi: “If you can kick me out, I’ll count you as amazing.”

Notes:

*1 (A) Billion Year: The CP name that as you read later on means the fandom’s name for the CP, taking the last characters of Chen Yi’s name and Fu Xiu Nian’s name: Yi Nian, which means a billion year.

*2 Love Ya Ya: The play on these words is on the Ya of Ah Ya where the two Yas in the account name have a very different meaning (taking on the sound but using different characters this one is like the sound of “oh” or “ah” that goes at the end of a sentence spoken/orally and the other’s (Ah Ya) is part of a name, (or if used by itself/in conjunction with another specific character is more known as brother-in-law). And so it is as if the fan’s account is yelling Love ahhhh ahhh kind of thing, versus the actual name of the celebrity Ah Ya.

*3 awsl: basically means like “ded”/ I’m dying.