Translated by Neirith

Episode Nine – Let’s Build Our House (3)

Although Xia Zhi had declined treatment, he developed a hidden worry every since the event and would touch his butt, even when there was nothing wrong. When he sat down, he would fidget. Shifting after a while. Standing up and sitting down a few times. He stopped drinking coffee and cut down eating meat. Every day, he would record how many times he used the toilet. He even went so far as to go along with Ye Qia’s vegetarian diet ── on that day, Ye Qia began to look at him like he was crazy.

Even more concerning was that he asked Ye Qia to inspect his hemorrhoid before they went to bed, asking if it had grown. Ye Qia resolutely declined his request, threatening him that if he ever requested the same again, he’d immediately take him to have his hemorrhoids cut out through “dick excision.”

Xia Zhi was appalled, “What the fuck, you can use your dick to cut out hemorrhoids? Isn’t that some black magic?”

Ye Qia’s face warped. “It’s happened before.”

“What do you mean?”

Ye Qia appeared to be in the midst of memories, and after a short period of time, seemed to be unable to bear it. His eyes twitched as he clenched his teeth, scaring Xia Zhi into consoling him. After a while, curiosity got the better of him and he asked, “That dick excision… what was it like?”

“After doing it, there was blood all over the floor!” Ye Qia declared irritably. “It happened a long time ago. To make a long story short, this was one of the reasons I decided to stop selling myself.”

Xia Zhi eyed him in distress, “Did that guy die?”

“No.”

“Any lingering effects?”

“Apparently he no longer dared to strain while using the toilet afterwards.” Ye Qia raised an eyebrow and said, “It looked really bad, but when I sent him to the hospital, there wasn’t much pain.”

“What do you mean?”

“It hurt so bad that it became numb.”

Xia Zhi immediately began to shudder. The pain was so bad that it became numb, it was that bad! In order to distract him from the thought, he subsequently started to find something to do. 

During breakfast, he said to Ye Qia dispassionately, “One, prepare to buy a house, or two, raise a dog. Pick one.”

Ye Qia looked past his newspaper and furrowed his brows. “Where did the second option come from?”

“It’s too expensive to buy a house. I think raising a dog is also a good choice.” Xia Zhi declared with conviction, “After changing your frame of mind, you need to make a new beginning. Anyways, we already decided to build a household.”

“So we did.” Ye Qia laid down his newspaper, tapping a finger on the table. “You started looking at homes?”

“Yes.”

“Did you find one you like?”

“No.” Xia Zhi sighed. “Every house has things that I don’t like. The house that I really want isn’t something I can afford.”

“How much is the one you really want?”

“More than ten million.” Xia Zhi stated regretfully, “There’s a small garden on the first floor.”

“Is there a skylight?” 

“Yeah.” Xia Zhi’s eyes twinkled as he fantasized, “I want to raise a golden retriever, build a dog house for it in the yard.”

Ye Qia was amused. “Aren’t you thinking too far ahead?”

“No way.” Xia Zhi began to energetically paste sticky notes onto the table, saying, “Listen to me, right now my salary every two months is enough to buy one square meter. Over a year, that’s six square meters, so the down payment will only take ten years. If I take a loan and consider this to be my first mortgage…”

“Did you take into account inflation and currency devaluation?”

“…”

Ye Qia became unable to withstand it as he watched Xia Zhi melt against the table like ice cream, his tearful cheeks plastered against the tabletop. Though he liked to tease, it wasn’t good to go too far. Besides, buying a house was already at the top of his agenda.

“Actually, you have some money.”

With his face stuck to the table, Xia Zhi asked weakly, “How?”

“Last time, during Queen’s Inheritance, we won the grand prize.”

As soon as he heard the word “Queen,” Xia Zhi’s expression became grave. He had a bad premonition. “And?”

“The villa we went to was under the name of his little slave. He obeyed Queen’s final command to gift the villa to the winner.”

Suddenly lifting his head in disbelief, Xia Zhi asked, “Really?”

“Really.”

“Why didn’t anyone tell us?”

“Because the little slave only told me recently that he decided to go back to his hometown and never return. Originally, he could have sold the place. It was under his name. But he didn’t want to sell it to a stranger, so he decided to give it to you.”

Xia Zhi was shocked and a moment later, asked, “Hold on a minute, why me?”

“Out of the three pairs who participated, we won. Also, he thought you resembled him.”

Xia Zhi asked in surprise, “How do I resemble him?”

“Clumsy at binding and similar in appearance.”

“How did he know all this?”

“There were videos of every obstacle.”

Xia Zhi was momentarily flummoxed before he jumped up. “Then when we had sex, it was all recorded?”

“Don’t worry, with Wang Ke there, do you think there’s any chance these recordings could leak?” Once he said this Ye Qia stayed silent for a while before he added, “Anyways, they were only taking a look.”

Xia Zhi pressed his face against the tip of Ye Qia’s nose, asking aggressively, “Only taking a look?”

“Yeah, only taking a look.” Ye Qia appeared to be stifling a laugh. “They think you look really funny when your balls are being pinched by your underwear.”

“Fuck!”

Xia Zhi lost his temper. In the past, he used to do brainless things such as public displays of affection, but as he got older, he had changed.

“I’m a family man now! Family man, got it? I don’t want other people to see my naked body, okay?”

“I was wrong.” Ye Qia admitted his mistake. “The videos were pretty fuzzy, they were only to prove our identity. It’s understandable. After all, the little slave intended to gift an entire villa. Afterwards, all evidence was deleted.”

Xia Zhi reigned in his fury as he pointed a finger at Ye Qia. “No more next time!”

“If there’s a next time, I’ll let you know in advance.”

Although this answer wasn’t satisfactory, it was somewhat of an improvement, so Xia Zhi questioned reluctantly, “So, I have a villa now?”

“Yes.”

“Can I sell it?”

“If you sell it, the slave will be heartbroken. Besides, that villa cost a lot of money to build, but it’s pretty far from the city. You need to provide your own electricity and water, so it won’t sell. Other than the grassy hills and flowing rivers that are perfect for hiding murderers, there’s not much else to it.”

“… Then isn’t it the same as not having it at all?!” Xia Zhi complained.

“Think of a way to rent it.”

“If even I don’t want to live there, who would want to live there?!”

“That’s true.” Thinking for a while, Ye Qia said, “There’s another way. You can put it up for mortgage so you can afford your down payment.”

“It’s still not enough!”

“I can help pay the loan for you.” Ye Qia threw out the bait. “One, help pay the loan for you, or two, pay the down payment for you. Pick one.”

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