Part Ten: The “Bromances” of Life (9)

Ye Qia’s hygiene habits weren’t particularly great. At home, he was indifferent and did as he liked. But having tissues, which had been used to wipe cum, on his head somewhat exceeded his bottom line. He crawled out, stuck the clump of tissues in Xia Zhi’s face, and said unhappily, “What do you plan to do?”

“What do you mean?” Xia Zhi offered up a smile as he took the tissues. “Do you want to shower?”

“Is this a showering matter?” Ye Qia rolled his eyes. “Did you forget your mom’s here?”

Xia Zhi was hit with the realization and broke into a shudder. “Oh right, what should we do? What should we do? Ye Qia, what should we do? No wait, hurry up and leave, hurry hurry, while my mom’s not here!”

He dashed around the room, and Michelle Junior, who had quietly been on the balcony this whole time, poked his head in curiously and followed him back and forth. Xia Zhi haphazardly packed some clothes, stuffing them into a travel bag before tossing it into Ye Qia’s arms. Then he shoved Ye Qia towards the door without giving him a chance to speak, nagging away about things Ye Qia needed to pay attention to, such as “don’t work too late,” “I’ll pay your rent for you, don’t rent anything too expensive,” “hide for a bit, it’s going to be warm lately, don’t wear too little or you’ll catch a cold,” and a whole slew of nonsense that gradually softened the look on Ye Qia’s face.

Truthfully, Ye Qia had been very irritated just a moment ago. Not only had he been ambushed by his boyfriend’s mother, but he also had to hide under the bed in his own home as if he were a thief. It was really not a good feeling. He had originally planned to teach Xia Zhi a lesson, but seeing how pitiful Xia Zhi was, as well as Xia Zhi’s concern and reluctance to part, Ye Qia was unable to get angry with him.

Xia Zhi was completely unaware of what had transpired. After he finished rambling, he pulled over the door with firm resolve and then shrieked, “Mom! Y-you’re back?”

Ye Qia nimbly hid behind the door, holding the travel bag. Xia Zhi wanted to close the door but he was too late. Xia Zhi’s mother stepped in with the breakfast. Turning like a sunflower, Xia Zhi could only follow his mother’s trajectory, slowly opening the door and blocking Ye Qia who was only in a pair of underpants behind the door.

“I bought breakfast. Why is breakfast here so expensive? Much more expensive than where I am.” Xia Zhi’s mother automatically headed into the kitchen. “Hurry and come eat, it’s still hot.” 

Xia Zhi signaled at Ye Qia frantically while yelling towards the kitchen, “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

Ye Qia walked out in a rage and had just reached the elevator when he saw Xia Zhi dashing out barefoot. He ran up to Ye Qia and crouched down, hastily slipping a pair of leather shoes onto Ye Qia’s feet. Then he stood up and gave him a quick kiss before rushing back home. Ye Qia watched the closed door for a few seconds. Finally he gave a long sigh and stepped into the elevator wearing a pair of underpants and leather shoes while carrying a travel bag.

“So you came here just like that?” Gourmand finished listening, his entire person in a state of “blue screen of death.”

“I got dressed in the elevator.” Ye Qia said calmly. “I’m not a fan of streaking.”

“No, I’m saying that that’s your home.”

Magician, who had been observing from the sidelines, interrupted, “You simply up and left? You should’ve tied Xia Zhi up, stripped and whipped him in front of his mother!”

“Don’t compare me with a pervert like you.” Ye Qia glanced at his old friend and said, “His mother came too suddenly, we were caught unaware. There was no choice.”

“You have the right to tell his mother the truth.”

“You’re too extreme. Haven’t I also not told my parents the truth?”

“It’s over,” Magician bemoaned, holding Gourmand’s hand with a look of sorrow. “His Majesty’s brain has been poisoned by love. Quick, wash away his irrationality with your chrysanthemum!”

Gourmand slapped away Magician’s hand, looking toward Ye Qia as he said, “Why don’t you live here for now?”

“Is it going to be too much trouble?” Ye Qia said, “Don’t you live with Wang Ke?”

“It’s fine, he’s been busy lately.” Gourmand pointed at Magician with a straight face. “Besides, you would want to live with this guy? Aren’t you afraid he’ll rape you in the middle of the night?”

Ye Qia glanced at Magician. “Would you?”

“I’ve waited for this day to come for too long!” Magician clenched both fists in excitement. “Your daisy is certain to be mine, darling!”

Ye Qia said firmly to Gourmand, “Then I’ll be troubling you for this period of time.”

“No problem.”

Magician interrupted in opposition, “Aren’t we good friends? Isn’t it normal for good friends to offer their daisies to each other?”

“Get lost.”

Magician replied in “grief and indignation,” “Your Majesty, I gave you my first night!”

“You have the nerve to call it your first night with how loose your chrysanthemum is?”

“You have the nerve to call it loose as soon as you’ve entered?”

“You clamped up too tightly.”

“That’s because you touched my ticklish spot!”

“Your ticklish spot is on the head of your dick?”

“Okay, okay.” Seeing the conversation turn more and more R-rated, Gourmand had no choice but to end the argument. “This is not the problem right now. Can you both stop getting off-topic?”

“There isn’t a correct problem because there’s nothing we can do to help.” Breaking away from the topic of matters below the belt, Magician lost interest. “Let’s just watch the show.”

Ye Qia contemplated for a moment. “Actually that might not be true. You still have a chance to be useful.”

“How?”

“I need a boyfriend.”

Gourmand said, “I won’t do?”

“Doesn’t Bai Min know you have Wang Ke?”

Magician asked in confusion, “Doesn’t Bai Min know Xia Zhi too?”

“He doesn’t really believe it. He thinks I’m just using Xia Zhi as an excuse.” At the mention of the culprit, Ye Qia looked angry. “That’s why he’s been pestering me nonstop. Gourmand, your Wang Ke owes me big time.”

Gourmand accepted the blame with a raise of his hand, yet Magician grew excited again, seizing Ye Qia’s hand as he said in a sickeningly sweet tone, “Don’t worry, darling, starting from this moment, my most dearly beloved is you!” After a pause, he added, “And your daisy.”

“…”

While Ye Qia was laying low, Xia Zhi was home at the receiving end of his mother’s “interrogation.”

“Mom, listen to me, it’s not what you think.” Without waiting for his mother to answer, Xia Zhi continued on, “That guy is a really good friend of mine who’s being stalked by a weird guy so he asked me to go save him and that’s all, we don’t have a special relationship of any sort and we’re not gay!”

After he finished, Xia Zhi couldn’t help but wonder who would be dumb enough to believe such a flimsy explanation.

“Alright.” Xia Zhi’s mother nodded. “I believe you.”

“…”

Mom, can you stop lying to yourself like this!

Although he thought this, Xia Zhi still spoke cowardly, “So mom, you absolutely don’t need to get so worked up. Take care of yourself. All I want now is for you to be healthy. Everything else is fake, okay? Oh, where’s auntie?”

“She’s taking the train. She’ll probably arrive by tonight.”

“…”

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