Chapter 18: My head is getting confused

When feeling helpless like this, it’s best to focus on something else.

So, I put all my effort into thinking about what to do about the situation that had arisen in Dorothea.

However, one worry has been lifted, which is a relief. Now that I know that Dorothea won’t be hurt if I continue to play the role of Jeremiah’s girlfriend, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Where in the Bible does it Say to C...

But a new problem has already arisen.

Watching Dorothea, it seems that Aurelio is serious about her. I’ve heard stories of falling in love immediately after meeting someone, but this is the first time I’ve seen it happen. Moreover, the other party is a well-known libertine. If you think about it properly, the only thing to do is to tell her to stop. If she still insists, I will advise her that if she can endure having a mistress someday, then it’s fine.

Because Aurelio Caldelara is a Viscount and would make a perfect marriage partner. He seems to have a good income, and the only flaw is that he’s not faithful to women. If you can turn a blind eye to mistresses and illegitimate children, it’s fine, but Dorothea doesn’t seem capable of such tricks.

Or rather, I couldn’t believe that Aurelio was trying to seduce Dorothea. Not because Dorothea is unattractive. On the contrary, if she didn’t have a strong personality, I think Dorothea would be somewhat attractive.

There were several other ladies invited to this mansion, and even from a woman’s perspective, there were some exceptionally beautiful women among them, including some widows. If one were used to playing around like Aurelio, they would choose women who were not averse to giving in to passion, like these women, as it would be less troublesome.

However, Dorothea had the opposite nature of such women. It should be clear after talking to her for a while. Yet, Aurelio seemed to be passionately pursuing her.

——There might be something going on.

I thought I shouldn’t rush to a conclusion.

“Well, anyway… let’s observe a little more. We can get to know him while staying in this mansion, and I’ll also investigate. From the way he talked, I didn’t think he was the type of person rumored about… Maybe he’s carrying something.”

“Carrying something…? What do you mean?”

I didn’t know what to do with Dorothea’s anxious face. To be honest, what I just said was just a hopeful speculation. However, I was exposed to her too earnest gaze, so I said it after a preamble.

“You know, this is just my guess, and it may not be true, but I think people who indulge in “playing” have some kind of emotional problem. Not everyone is like that, but they may be in despair or have to give up something… If he is like that, maybe he will stop his debauchery if we can solve his emotional problem.”

“Ah! If that’s the case, I’ll do whatever it takes to help him.”

“That’s right. So, let’s make sure we know what kind of person he is now. I’ll help too, so cheer up, okay?”

“Yes, I’ll try my best.”

Dorothea nodded quietly. It was a bluff, but it seemed that I was able to plant some hope. However, if he was really a true philanderer, she might get hurt.

I felt heavy-hearted.

Speaking of feeling heavy-hearted, I had to tell my aunt about this. What should I say? When I imagined my aunt’s face, I suddenly remembered the conversation we had about Jeremiah.

What did my aunt say to Lord Castalde again?

As I pondered about it, his smile came to mind again, and I became confused. And then I suddenly remembered. Yes, something had been bothering me for a long time.

I was surprised by the request to play the role of his girlfriend, and I had forgotten about it.

The Jeremiah I knew and the one I saw in the past few days were too different.

In the past, during the social season, when we exchanged greetings and I watched him from afar, Jeremiah seemed like a colder and more distant person, and I had the impression that he was rather stiff.

He had a promising future and was beautiful, so he was often surrounded by young ladies and their mothers, but I remember his eyes being cold and a sneer on his lips, even though he behaved politely.

Well, I was fascinated by his harsh face.

At least, in the past few days, he has shown me an unpretentious attitude and smile that he has never shown in such situations. Above all, he seemed to despise the ladies and mothers who were making a fuss about marriage.

That’s why I understood that he didn’t like that kind of talk. That’s why I easily accepted his proposal.

Of course, I thought it was acting, so I expected him to behave coldly. But he keeps paying attention to me and teasing me. Is this his true nature? And what does it mean that he is showing it to me?

My head is spinning.

“Lorraine…? What’s wrong? Your face is red. Are you tired?”

“Oh, yeah…maybe. There were a lot of things going on today, but I’ll rest soon. Dorothea, you get some rest too, I have one more thing to do and then I’ll go to sleep.”

“…Yeah, um, Lorraine, thank you. I feel a little better after talking to you.”

“Well, that’s good. Goodnight then.”

After holding Dorothea’s hand, I stood up and left the room. I had to go tell my aunt, but I couldn’t tell her everything.

I shook my head and tried to shake off the thoughts about Jeremiah that were occupying my mind.

——Acting as a girlfriend, acting as a girlfriend! I’m not like the other ladies who are aiming for him, and I’m not desperate, so I’m sure he’ll be easy to talk to. That’s all.

I told myself that and hurried to my aunt’s place. I told her that Dorothea had fallen in love but didn’t reveal that the person was Aurelio. I also didn’t mention that the other person was interested. If I said something like that, I could see my aunt doing everything in her power to stop it.

“Okay, so… So you’re trying to find out who he is, what he’s like.”

“Yes, I know there are things I can do, but… so please wait a little before questioning Dorothea.”

“Well, I guess that can’t be helped. Oh, I know! Why don’t we ask Jeremiah? He knows more about these things, and speaking of Jeremiah’s eye for women… Oh, I wish someone like that would appear for Dorothea soon.”

As the old lady sighed and put her hand on her cheek, I said, “Well then, I’m tired today, so I’ll excuse myself.” and quickly returned to the room where Dorothea was.

I don’t want to think about Jeremiah too much right now.

My head is already confused, and I feel like I’m going to collapse from heatstroke.

I’m not good at thinking in the first place, so I sighed.

I wonder if I was too hasty. As I listened carefully, I could hear Dorothea’s breathing. It seems she’s already asleep. Relieved by that fact, I called a maid to help me change and prepare for bed, and finally lay down.

As I rested my head on the pillow and closed my eyes, I quickly felt sleepy, probably because I was tired.

However, Jeremiah appeared in my dreams repeatedly. In the dream, in a rose garden that had just bloomed beautifully, he said to me with a happy expression, “I finally found my true love. Thank you for everything so far, I want you to continue being a good friend.”

I laughed and watched him and his real girlfriend standing side by side, saying, “What a picturesque scene. I wish I had the heart of an artist to capture it.” But then I realized that salty tears were coming out of my eyes and was confused by my own reaction. There was no reason for me to cry…

Even though the scene changed, similar scenes continued to play out.

In the end, I couldn’t sleep well and the fatigue remained until the next day.

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