Chapter 23: I hate myself for not saying no

“Did I forget to ask if you had any plans today? Oh, right. If you have something, we can do it tomorrow.”

“No, I don’t have any plans today, but that’s not what I meant… I want to confirm something. Um, if we continue like this, will we really become engaged?”

“Yes, we will.”

Where in the Bible does it Say to C...

“Are you really okay with that?”

Without hesitation, he nodded in response to my serious question.

“It’s okay. Haven’t I told you many times? I’m willing to marry you.”

“But… we’ve only known each other for a short time.”

“If you need time, we have plenty of it from now on. There’s no problem… or do you not want to?”

I widened my eyes at his gaze.

The emotions floating on his well-structured face looked really sad, as usual.

“Um, well…”

“You said you were looking for a marriage partner, but is it not enough for me to be your partner?”

“No, it’s not like that! You’re more than enough, to the point where I couldn’t even imagine it.”

“Then there’s no problem. Shall we go… I’ll be waiting in the entrance hall, so come when you’re ready, okay?”

I couldn’t say no.

❂❂❂

An hour later, while being shaken in a carriage, I was agonizing over why I had ended up in this situation. I had visited the Castalde family’s estate with my aunt and Dorothea to find a potential marriage partner. As I watched it recede into the distance, I clutched the skirt of my outdoor attire.

By the way, when I reported this to my aunt, she went into a frenzy and told me to hurry up and go, don’t dawdle, with a terrifying expression. With the help of the maid Dora, who was brought from home, we managed to pack up while being urged to hurry up and make a fuss, and we finished preparing at an abnormal speed, which surprised Jeremiah.

When I was told that it was not fitting for a Lady to be so quick, I felt sad.

Although his words were not meant to be malicious, they could easily be interpreted as “You are not acting like a Lady” if taken at face value.

It’s going to be hard to get used to this.

Also, the maid Dora was to accompany Jeremiah’s servant in the back carriage. In other words, we would be alone in the cramped space of the carriage again.

“Don’t be so nervous, I won’t do anything. Not until we’re engaged.”

“I, I understand.”

“You don’t understand. It means we’ll do something once we’re engaged.”

“…Wait, is this a mistake about the marriage?”

“Well, it’s not a problem if something happens since we’re going to get married eventually.”

I looked at him and thought, ‘I’m not sure what you’re talking about.’

With a lukewarm smile, I averted my gaze from the beautiful creature in front of me.

I can tell that my emotions are starting to get out of control.

It’s not just my imagination that my attempt to rest my mind has resulted in the opposite. Today, I was supposed to listen to Dorothea’s story and subtly gauge Aurelio’s seriousness in conversation. But inside, I was on the verge of tears.

And when I was about to leave, it seemed that Dorothea was already meeting with Aurelio.

I was worried about my aunt’s cloudy expression.

Come to think of it, Jeremiah said he would do something, but what exactly does he plan to do? I decided to ask.

“Um, what’s going on with Dorothea and Lord Caldelara?”

“Well, I’m having the mansion’s servants look into it subtly. And I’ve hired a detective to investigate him, so we’ll eventually get some information. It’s someone we can trust, so it’s okay.”

“I-I see…”

As I remembered Dorothea’s enraptured expression, I sighed.

She looked happy, but also seemed to be in a lot of pain. I didn’t think falling in love was a bad thing, but it seemed difficult when there was someone else involved.

Besides, I put my hand on my chest and thought.

My chest had been hurting since earlier. I knew the cause, but I didn’t feel like I could stop it anymore. I decided to give up and accept that this was also part of life.

However, I couldn’t stop thinking about how it had come to this.

I tried to speculate by combining the information I knew.

Tatiana, who he seemed to have feelings for, was already married. Moreover, the couple were so close that it was embarrassing to watch. While I thought it was embarrassing, I didn’t want to miss anything and stared at them, but the overly sweet atmosphere gave me heartburn. No one could interfere with their relationship.

That’s why Jeremiah might have thought it would be better to be with me, who was easy to be around, if he couldn’t have the person he liked.

Marriage born from a friendship based on unwavering trust might have seemed preferable to him. That’s why he approached me with this kind of proposal.

While telling myself that, I tried to avoid Jeremiah’s gaze. Regardless of his true intentions, my heart would become uneasy if things continued like this.

The carriage ride was quiet and comfortable, and soon we entered the territory of the Valcourt family, which was right next to the Castalde family’s territory. The carriage slowly made its way down the road, which was mostly farmland. We stopped for meals along the way, and by the time evening approached, we could see the Valcourt family’s estate.

Suddenly, I caught a rare glimpse of nervousness on Jeremiah’s face.

Eventually, we arrived at the estate. The Valcourt family’s mansion was not as large as the Castalde family’s, but it was an old building that had won in terms of age.

It seemed that it had been used as a fortress in the past, and had been abandoned when the money and energy ran out after various renovations. As a result, the buildings were a mishmash of different architectural styles, with no sense of unity.

It seemed that the successive heads of the Valcourt family were all lazy. My father was the same, so I decided that it must be the case.

Soon, when the carriage arrived at the entrance hall, the butler quickly came out to greet us and led us to the guest room. My mother and brother were already there, and they warmly welcomed us.

“Well, well! I never thought you would come back in this way. Welcome back, Lord Jeremiah. My husband is waiting for you in the study,” Lavina, my mother, said happily.

Jeremiah greeted her politely, “Thank you. Then, I will visit the study first so as not to keep him waiting. I would be happy to talk to everyone afterward.”

He then gave me a meaningful glance and sent it my way. I couldn’t understand the implied meaning, but he was guided by the butler to the study.

As I watched his back disappear, I heard a suppressed laughter from behind and turned around with a grimace on my face.

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