My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Carol the receptionist had her eyes trailing our every move.

She watched with an inquiring brow as Irene clung herself even tighter to me, curled one corner of chapped lips, seeing the affectionate way Irene rested her head against my arm, and saw the bewilderment in my gaze as she stared at me with a cheeky look of dejection that she was far from feeling. 

Didn't even say anything. She just smiled and bade us farewell with an enthused wiggle of wrinkly fingers. Once we reached the exit and swung the door to the outdoors, I chanced a small fleeting glance back at the ash-glazed desk and found that Carol was still staring, throwing an approving nod my way and two trembling thumbs raised up high.

I can't even be bothered to explain, so you know what, thumbs up to you too, Carol. If you had offered me a service questionnaire slip, you'd be the only 10 out of 10 I'd give.

"You don't have a ride?" I asked, staring out into the deserted desolate streets and suddenly realizing the lack of automobiles anywhere apart from the one rumbling idly by the wayside.

"Nope, I taxi'd myself," Irene replied. "By the time I needed to isolate myself, I already wasn't in the best state to be behind the wheel. The cab driver was nice, he drove me here for free. Think he might have been feeling generous that day."

I gave a snort. "Mm, Don't think it was generosity he was feeling there, but whatever…"

Then the blare of a horn sounded, assailing the peaceful quiet of night. A second blaring, shorter than the first, shifted my gaze to the fogged-up murky glass windshield whirring silently beside the sidewalk, where a pair of eyes were staring right through. 

They were black, they were wide, and they did not look one bit pleased with the sight of me. 

"Oh… Matriarch victim number one," whispered Irene, a suspicion arousing in the corner-look she gave me. "So good buddies now, are we? Close buddies, maybe?"

"Just a friend," I said, guiding us down the rickety steps to the car.

She simply nodded her head, still leering at me. "Just a friend…" 

After catching my attention, Amanda drew her hand away from the wheel, shrinking and clinging to the insides of the wooly coat that enshrouded her entire being, taking up as little room as possible to the point that the driver seat was essentially 90% empty space, and that little cowering splotch of fur to the side was 10% Amanda.

Wasn't exactly keeping track of the time up there, was too busy staving off nefarious temptations, the allure of a very intoxicated succubus was much too great to be diverting much-needed concentration to counting down the hours, so I wasn't exactly sure how long I was actually in the hotel for.

Ten minutes? Twenty?

Swinging open the passenger-side door, Amanda sought immediately to amend my guesses, speaking composed and as level-headed as one can be.

"Thirty-four minutes! Three-four! You said you wouldn't take long!" 

Apparently, as soon as I'm within shouting distance, Amanda was capable of swelling herself back up to her usual size, maybe it's just an involuntary thing that happens when an Amanda feels threatened - I dunno, I don't watch discovery channel, haven't a clue how these girls work yet, but hey I'm slowly getting there.

"I said I'd try not to take too long," I said, craning my neck to level with the outrage brimming in her eyes. "Never said I'd succeed at it." 

Even with a face-mask on, it was easy to tell that Amanda was wearing a very resentful frown, especially with that tone of voice.

"Don't play the technical game with me, that's a long thirty-four minutes doing nothing but jumping at every sound, every howl of a dog - and Adalia doesn't stop staring. What's the reason? What took you so long? It better be a good one otherwise I'm not dropping this the entire way back and… and who is that clinging on to you like that?"

At the acknowledgment of her presence, Irene, bending down alongside me, beamed at the bemused Amanda. "Irene Madison. TAPD." and stretched an arm across the dashboard. "Perhaps you've heard of me?" 

"Um," Amanda looked back at me. "You found the succubus?" 

"Yes he did," Irene chimed in before I could. "So you have heard of me. Mmm, some gossiping behind my back. I assume he only had nice things to say about me, yes?"

"Err, a few tidbits, I guess?" Amanda muttered. " Here and there..."

"Tidbits… Here and there..." She repeated back, a friendly smile so overtly on display. "Here… and there…"

Poor Amanda looked like she was about to implode with the utter confusion that was ballooning inside her.

"What is happening?"

"She's inebriated." I simply said. "Don't mind whatever she says - she's not all there."

"Yes, because I'm all down here!" Irene piped up, suddenly darting her arm down to my groin, but to no avail. Barely in the nick of time, I managed to slap her hand back into submission. 

Yet that didn't falter her widening smile nor did it stop her from staring maliciously deep into the eyes of a very mortified Amanda.

"So don't you even think about going for him."

This was a prime example of action speaking much louder than words. Irene's little attempt at public indecency saved me a bunch of needless long-winded spiels trying to justify for my lack of a sense of punctuality. Wasn't any need for that any longer, the indignation that had sparked within Amanda had long since been abated, you can actually pinpoint the exact moment it did - as soon Irene strolled herself into the picture.

So, anyway, target acquired, mission accomplished. Time to head back, I suppose.

"No." spoke out the Succubus, leaping a great distance away from the opened car door. "Out of the question."

Okay maybe not so mission accomplished just yet.

"Just get in the backseat, Irene," I said, already on the verge of just flat-out collapsing.

"Will you be sitting beside me?"

"Irene… it's a small car. Three of us won't fit."

"Then I guess a certain 'someone' is gonna have to be riding shotgun," Irene said, looking over my shoulder towards the silent figure in the backseat. "Isn't she?"

Adalia was sitting quietly inside, during her trademark stare into nothing. If I didn't know any better, I'd say she was just daydreaming. But really, with the web of veins gradually growing much more prominent beneath her paling skin, daydreaming was the last thing she could ever be possibly doing.

Running out of time here… gonna have to speed things up if we ever wanna get anything done.

I sighed. "Adalia can you scoot yourself over to the front with Amanda?"

Was already anticipating it before it even happened. That huge gulp of air from the front seat, the instant turn around in my direction… I remembered texting her swearing up and down that I'd keep the vampire under the wraps as best I could, but over the course of tonight, it really does seem like I've just been nudging the vampire ever so slightly her way with the rise of every new development.

But it's like… what the hell am I supposed to do?

If I was in her place, I'd be fuming too. No doubt about it. I'd be vocal, I'd be outrage, I'd be screaming to the moon and back no way jose.

So you can bet your ass that it was a big surprise to me to see that she wasn't… to hear that she wasn't and before I knew it, Adalia was already settling in nicely, buckling in her seatbelt, and gazing out the passenger-side window.

Amanda only batted an eye once at her, and clasped steady fingers once more onto the steering wheel, speaking tirelessly as she did. 

"Let's just go already…"

Once again, that phrase rang about in my head, like an affirmation to a dubious claim - that actions speak louder than words. In this case, it was the lack of action on Amanda's part that spoke louder than any word that was ever uttered tonight.

Adalia wasn't scary… maybe she really starting to believe that statement, as flimsy a statement as it was. Wasn't exactly the moving thing I've seen in my life but really it was such a profound - 

"I'm about to drive off right now," Amanda said in warning. "Last chance..."

Right...

"See? That wasn't so hard," Irene said with a whimsical smile, humming a dainty tune that sounded vaguely familiar to me. "Ladies first, yes?"

Ladies first indeed. 

That said, I wasn't really sure about spending a good twenty minutes or so in the backseat with the literal embodiment of lust itself, especially with the way she winked an eye at me as she gently patted the vacant seat right next to herself. 

Yet just like everything else that came speeding my way - what other bloody choice do I have?

Besides… I know at this point I'm beginning to sound like a broken record… but really…

Can't get any worse than this, can it?