My Servant Is An Elf Knight From Another World

Irene meant it when she said forget it. She was no longer interested in anything that Howard had to say. It was as if she scrubbed his existence from outta sight and mind.

-"Am I off the hook?"

-"Can I talk with my lawyer first?"

-"It was only one time, detective, please..."

Persistent bastard, he was. Though I suppose anybody would be if they were staring at twenty years behind some cold sturdy iron bars directly in the face. Understandable… didn't make it any less annoying, though.

Opting still for the silent treatment, Irene gestured us into a small circle to have a little one on one from each other, away from any straining ears, and it was there Irene decided to unveil this whole thing.

She looked at me, looked at Ash, and said, "One of his employees is an - "

"Ancient Magus, right." 

That was me piping up. Irene paused, blinked once, and continued.

"There's a book, just one look and you'll know it's out of place, we need to go look for it so that we can - "

"Destroy the book and cleanse the Blight."

Me again. Pausing, blinking, that was Irene again too… don't think she anticipated me catching on to things as quickly as I did.

"Did your homework, I see."

"Even did the workings too," I answered back as stoic as she. "Do I get an 'A' for effort?"

"I was eventually gonna explain it to you, you know?"

Rolled both my head and eyes. "Yeah, when, Christmas?"

"I fear we are straying far from the topic at hand," spoke Ash, wedging herself in-between us. "Now an Ancient Magus, sensing one would be a feat that would prove - "

"Difficult, yes," Irene said, focus back on track. "Considering were now in their domain, if we try that tactic, we'll just end up running around in circles - their magic's everywhere."

Ash chimed in again, "Selses Menes could prove a viable option in this circumstance."

Selses Menes sounded like a pasta sauce to me, which signifies that I have once again entered the point in the topic where things get too mythical for my delicate human sensibilities. 

Okay, maybe I didn't do my homework good enough...

Lucky Irene spoke Pasta too, otherwise, the discussion would have stopped dead there in its tracks. "No, magical inversion would be far too noticeable. Subtle Elf, keep things subtle. I believe instead we should try Lestra - "

I zoned out at that exact moment, adios went my concentration to the conversation. Seriously, now I know how Ash feels when people start using these buzzwords around her that more often than not go flying over her head.

Like I was seriously stumped here on trying to define definitions for terms that sounded like alien speak… don't think I ever commend her highly enough for being able to trudge on through modern life with all the linguistic hurdles she has to skip over on the daily. 

So yeah… since I practically could offer no say in the topic, my focus instead strayed onto a gloomy-looking view of a slumped over Howard, the glaring luster in his blue faded, a somber gaze out the office window, so silent, so glum… probably readying his non-guilty plea to the court inside of his head. Either that or he had somehow mastered falling asleep with his eyes wide open. 

I like the second theory more, I'm going with that… feels a bit more - 

" - you think, Master?"

Zoned out to zone in so fast so quick that disorientation came barrelling onto senses like an Elf in a bumper car. I blinked, suddenly finding myself turning in Ash's direction, staring at me, awaiting my opinion on the matter.

I cleared my throat, doing my utmost to make it seem I was hundred percent with them all the way throughout. 

"Yes," I said with a confidence that I was far from feeling. "Let's do that."

Ash seemed to have bought into it, Irene, on the other hand, couldn't be fooled by just a little deepening in my inflection.

"Were you even with us?" She asked me.

I snorted. "Of course I was."

"Then what did we say?"

"Um… ah…" Brain's a bit fuzzy for some reason. "Salsa… something about pasta, I think?"

Irene and Ash shared a glance. One from first glance, was not a good glance.

"Are you feeling well, Master?"

I blew a breath, maybe some saliva too, scoffing at the irrelevant of such a question. "Why, of course I am, Ash. Can we just move on with the plan already?"

Fine and dandy everything was. Felt a-okay, never better… so why the hell was Ash frowning, why that peculiar stare at me?

"Master…" She moved closer. "Your face has whitened."

"What?"

Suddenly, in seconds that took way longer than I should have to notice, her hand was on my forehead. "You're burning up."

"Huh?"

No. If I felt hot, you'd think I would have noticed it by now, don't you think? You think so too right? I'm not the only one that thought that. If I didn't feel okay, I would know I didn't feel okay, because I'll know that I wasn't okay.

Okay?

Ash somehow got a little further away without me knowing, saw concern blinking green in her eyes like warning lights but I think that's just paranoia. 

"Lady Irene… I have reason to believe that Master is - "

"Fine," I say, not even slurring, not even stuttering, I stepped back sure but I only did cause I was shaking myself awake, because - "I feel just - "

Fine. I wasn't fine. Shaking myself awake felt like I shook a baking soda volcano - and I was feeling the fucking eruption. I clamped my mouth shut.

"Your partner okay, there?" 

Ooo, Howard woke. Or I guess he wasn't sleeping after all. Whatever, in any case… Hi, Howard… stop staring at me - I'm fine.

"No, he isn't," I heard big strong boots stomping, and suddenly the stanky-ass scent of cologne was blinding me of all my senses. "Howard - nearest bathroom now, where is it?"

Irene's grip on my arm was firm and strong, really I think if it wasn't that, I'd be on the floor by now doing my best impression of a corpse.

"Uh… exit the room, exit the office, turn right and another right, end of the corridor."

"Thanks."

I'm not going to throw up. I don't need the bathroom. I'm just dizzy and can't feel my legs - it's really nothing to worry about, what's the big deal? I'll be okay in a minute.

"Come on, move with me here, don't make it any harder than it has to be," I heard Irene say, heaving and grunting.

Heh... 'harder', naughty succubus.

"Elf, go grab the other arm, your master's heavier than he looks..."

Oh, now both my arms feel so light, it really felt like I was flying like a big birdy, but the tippy-top of my shoes were still being dragged against the floor, so what's the deal here, am I flying or not?

"Wait, detective! How about my… am I still in trouble? Could we maybe talk these things out later some other time? Maybe If I can explain my side better we could - "

And now we're stopping at the door, why are we stopping at the door?

"If you just behave and shut up Howard, what you did may just actually slip my mind because I have other priorities to sort out at the moment as you can plainly see. But if you keep on talking, if you keep annoying me, I'm definitely going to remember this, remember you. Do you want me to remember you?"

Howard didn't respond. I guess he doesn't realize just how rude it is to not answer when spoken to.

"Good man." 

And we're flying again. Onwards through the open door, gliding through cubicles filled with whizzing faces and office equipment. Things were rushing by me so fast, it all felt like a blur. 

"Right and then another right," I heard Irene the pilot say to Ash the co-pilot, whom nodded at her in return.

There's the black and whites of the hallway again. Too bad it wasn't for long, didn't even know we reached the end till I heard someone shoulder bashing against the door.

I was slowing down. We were slowing down. I wasn't flying anymore. Instead, I was staring at whites - just white and white everywhere I looked, on the walls, to the floors, towards the ceiling high above.

It was nearly blinding.

Nearly noticed how overwhelming bathrooms were to the senses. I'm getting that dazed feeling again.

"Master, look at me… look at me."

Whirling and twirling, somehow I managed to steady my eyes briefly to those sparkling greens, staring back at me so earnestly, I could feel my focus slowly return. 

That's when I realized it… I really wasn't fine. I felt horrible, I felt sick, I felt like the world was going to collapse from under me… and I didn't know why.

"What's happening… what's happening to me, Ash?" I managed to utter, a whisper so slurred and frail. "Talk to me."

"You've… you've overused your magic, Master," She explained. "You've overexerted yourself to the point that you've diminished everything you have."

"Over… overexerted?" I heaved. "What are you - "

I stopped talking… for I finally understood what she meant, saw what she meant. The reflection in the bathroom mirror showed a view of a man paler than a sheet of paper, sweating droplets that wouldn't stop pouring, and heaving in breaths that he couldn't feel.

Irene popped into view, drawing up beside me, staring too at my own reflection with eyes that no longer looked so frigid and aloof.

"Just what on Earth were you doing before we got here?"