Chapter 90 – The girl learns of the boy’s gloom
After the birthday celebrations, we continue heading south. We advance as we talk about where we should stay.
Gaius still looks like he’s thinking about something. Mister Oshashio says it’s alright to just let him be, but is it really? I want to know more about Gaius, so maybe I can understand why he’s making that face.
That’s what I think, but just like other people don’t know exactly what’s on my mind, I’m never going to understand perfectly what’s on other people’s minds either.
Back in the village where I grew up, I never thought about this sort of thing.
I just survived, and didn’t think about a lot.
I didn’t speak much either, and I never felt like I wanted to know more about someone else, or wanted to do something on my own.
But I learned a lot after I met the gryphons, Scifo, and everyone else. I learned that there’s a lot I can’t understand if I don’t talk to other people.
It’s been a few days, but I’ve finally found the right timing to talk to Gaius.
It’s night.
When I look at the sky, I see stars shining. The night sky is so pretty.
Looking at the night sky makes me feel calmer. No, there’s something calming about being in contact with nature in general.
Gaius and I made our vow on a night like this. As I think about this, I feel like walking.
“Ah…”
Eventually, I find Gaius.
I look at him, and he looks back at me.
“Lerunda.”
“Gaius…”
We look into each other’s eyes.
“Gaius, let’s talk.”
I say, and Gaius nods. We sit next to each other.
“Gaius, you…”
I want to know what he’s thinking, but I don’t want to force him to talk, so I stop.
Gaius looks at me, and laughs a little.
“Lerunda, are you curious about what I’ve been thinking?”
Gaius knows what I want to ask.
“Lerunda… You were amazing when we were fighting the monster.”
Gaius says I was amazing, but I was just desperate.
“…You managed to help everyone, and you even formed a contract with a spirit too…”
“…Yes.”
Is whatever is worrying Gaius related to me? I don’t know, so I have to ask. I’ll never understand what Gaius is thinking if I don’t ask him, and I want to know more about him.
“Lerunda… That whole thing about you probably being the miko is incredible…”
“It’s not.”
“It is, you can help everyone. But I… I said I want to create a place where everyone can live in peace, but I can’t do anything.”
I don’t understand what Gaius is saying.
Gaius can’t do anything? That’s not true, he’s great. He’s really nice, and he helps me a lot. I think he’s great.
“…All I can do is talk, I can’t actually do anything like you. I don’t have any strength. I couldn’t do anything against the monster either.”
“…That’s, not true. You’re great, I know that. You’re always nice, and you’ve, helped me a lot. And I didn’t come up, with the idea to make, a place where people can be at peace. You thought of it, we told everyone, and they said it’s nice.”
Gaius is always so nice, and he’s helped me so many times. And we have our current objective because Gaius said what he wanted. If he didn’t, we wouldn’t all have a common goal. At least I don’t think I would’ve thought of it.
All I did was say it’s wonderful, and that I want his wish to come true too.
“Everyone is so, positive right now, because of you. Gaius, don’t say, you can’t do anything. You’re great!”
I don’t care how many times Gaius says he can’t do anything, I think he’s great, and I’ll say it as many times as I have to.
“…Really?”
“Yes. You’re great!”
“…Thank you, but I want to be more helpful. I want to become stronger, so I can actually do things instead of just talking about them. I want to be strong enough to protect everyone.”
“Yes. Then let’s, do our best together.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll pray for you, to get stronger.”
“Haha, thanks Lerunda.”
Gaius laughed. I hope he’s feeling a little better. I wish for him to become stronger, and pray for him to be able to keep smiling.
And I think it’s good if we can keep doing our best together.
The next day, an unexpected change happens.
—The girl learns of the boy’s gloom
(The girl that is probably the miko learns of the beast boy’s gloom. He feels he’s too powerless to do anything.)
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