The Silly Alchemist

Li Danteng didn’t know Ye Lang though. He thought he finally scared Ye Lang and was feeling very proud of himself. Of course, he was calm on the outside and scoffed, “If you know me, then just get on with it- let’s fight! If you lose, call off the marriage between you and seventh princess!”

“You really do have a good name there, don’t you? I’m busy and I don’t have time to play!” rejected Ye Lang.

Name? What did he mean?

“Ye Lang, what’s wrong with his name?” asked Zhen Xiaoyan, confused.

“...He’s Danteng- wait, you said you were honoured just now- were you making fun of his name?”

“Yeah, as you know Danteng is a legend…”

[‘Danteng’ in direct translation is ‘balls pain’, referring to the male’s testes. In this case, it refers to someone who is purposely looking for trouble. Also can be interpreted as bitchy.]

“...” Everyone was fell silent.

“Ye Lang, I challenge you in the name of my grandfather!!” Li Danteng was furious. He didn’t expect himself to turn out as a laughing stock- especially not because of his name!!

“Please don’t use your grandfather’s name for random things like this. You’re going to ruin your grandfather’s name- you’re an awful grandson!” Ye Lang shook his head as if he was Danteng’s grandfather.

“This will be a battle to the death!” Li Danteng unsheathed a sword and flung it upwards. The sword landed slanted a while later, stabbed into the ground. 

Everyone remained quiet as he spoke. They stared at him and his sword...

It was rare to challenge someone to a death battle. Only those with deep hatred would choose this. As the name stated, it involved both parties fight until one side died. 

In the olden days, a death battle was only declared to be ended when one person was dead.

Li Danteng was perhaps too angry to realise the gravity of this. He didn’t actually have a grudge with Ye Lang. In fact, he’d already regretted his words before the sword landed. 

Zhen Xiaoyan was furious...

“Li Danteng, what’s wrong with you? You’re already a Level 7 swordsman and Ye Lang hasn’t even reached Level 1! And you wanted to fight him?! Do you even have a brain?! And you, the ones who keep insisting on fighting him- please, he’s just an alchemist, not a warrior and not a magician! Don’t you guys feel bad at all?”

“Fatty...” Ye Lang suddenly felt Zhen Xiaoyan’s power...just like an angry auntie...oops, I mean a heroine. 

But almost immediately, he wanted to kick Zhen Xiaoyan out of his sight…

“Everyone knows he’s just a loser with zero attributes, why would you want to pick on an idiot?”

“...Fatso, why don’t you get the hell out of here?!”

“?? I’m helping you and you still insult me!” exclaimed Zhen Xiaoyan unhappily. She didn’t seem to realise what she said.

“Are you really helping me? You’re making me lose face! That son of a bitch, I’ll fight you alright- battle of death, yes? Then I’m going to show you what death is!!” claimed Ye Lang boastfully, standing straight and chest up high.

“...”

No one would expect things to turn out like this- Ye Lang agreed to the first battle of his life because of Zhen Xiaoyan!

That’s right, this was the first- the previous fight couldn’t be counted.

“Ah, you idiot! I didn’t mean that! Why did you agree?! How are you going to beat him?!” cried Zhen Xiaoyan, pulling Ye Lang’s hand. She didn’t want Ye Lang to agree to this battle.

“I’ve already agreed- let’s not worry about winning or losing first,” Ye Lang shrugged and left, his back now faced the crowd.

“Li Danteng, you’re finished!!” shouted Zhen Xiaoyan. She hurried after Ye Lang.

That’s right, Li Danteng was in big trouble. It wasn’t because he wasn’t Ye Lang’s match, but he chose to fight Ye Lang with this way.

To assure Ye Lang’s safety, there was always going to be someone around who was willing to do something about this situation. And even the First Swordsman wouldn’t be an obstacle to this someone!

Even if this someone knew Li Danteng wasn’t really going to kill Ye Lang, they still wouldn’t want to risk it.

…

“Son, are you crazy? Battle of death?!” Ye Chengtian rushed into Ye Lang’s courtyard and realise many were already in there. Long Anqi, Ye Lanyu, Seventh Princess, Zhen Xiaoyan and of course the main character, Ye Lang.

“Another one?! How many more times do I have to say this…” smiled Ye Lang bitterly, looking at Ye Chengtian.

“What? Have you all talked to him already?” Ye Chengtian asked Long Anqi.

“Nonsense! Do you think we’d wait for you?” replied Long Anqi sourly. She rolled her eyes at Ye Chengtian.

“What did he say?” continued Ye Chengtian.

“Your son said, no one is allowed to interrupt this and let him settle this on his own. He wants to fight!” answered Long Anqi worriedly, frowning.

“Fight my ass! Have you ever picked up a weapon? Ever practised magic? Not even once!!” roared Ye Chengtian. The rest might not know Ye Lang well, but the Ye family did. 

Ye Lang never practised any Douqi or magic- they’d never even see him exercising. And under such circumstances, Ye Lang thought he could win a swordsman- what’s more, a Level 7 one.

“I’ve picked up many weapons, and I’ve practised a lot of magic,” rebuked Ye Lang.

“You have?” Ye Chengtian was confused- why he didn’t know?

Smack.

“Ouch…”

“What he meant by ‘picking up weapons’ was just simply holding the weapons in his hands, and he did practise magic, he just never succeeded!”

“...”

“Hey, I really did practise magic, where else do you think my alchemy skills come from? Don’t treat me like a porcelain doll- I’m a manly man!!” protested Ye Lang.

“Shoo- now be serious, why did you agree to this death battle? You rejected the normal battles, why would you agree to this one?” Ye Chengtian couldn’t understand.

“I wanted to prove that I’m not a loser- I have two brushes in me!!” Ye Lang suddenly took out two brushes out of nowhere and held each in one hand.

[Note: ‘Two brushes’ means to have some tricks up his sleeve]

“...”

“Stop fooling around already. It seems like I need to talk to Senior Lee, or else I won’t give face even if it’s the First Swordsman.” As Ye Chengtian was ending his statement, he exuded a strong and powerful aura.

“Darling, I support you!” said Long Anqi desperately.

“Dad, I support you too!”

“You people stay out of this, don’t cause more trouble. This time I‘m going to battle for real, just believe in me for once. I’ll beat that bitch up without hurting myself- and make his balls hurt more!!” said Ye Lang seriously.

“Balls hurt more? What balls?” asked seventh princess, confused.

“...” Zhen Xiaoyan blushed.