Love from the Male Protagonist’s Harem

Chapter 52-Faith [Buried Memories] Part 2

Translated by Snowfall77

Maybe Xia Ge still hadn’t starved enough, or maybe it wasn’t her fate, cause what she’d mistaken for her dying flash of lucidity turned out to be just her passing out.  When her hunger-induced stomach cramps slowly pulled her back to consciousness again, Xia Ge’s first thought was finding Doudou.

——Doudou, where had Doudou gone?

——Had she……the Zhu family?!

Panic rising in her chest, Xia Ge propelled her weak body out of the woodshed, through the blustering wind and frost, heading as fast as she could towards the richest household in Nanming village.

Doudou, tell me you didn’t do something so foolish……

“I’m going to beat you to death, you little bitch!”

“Kill her!”

“You actually dare to try and steal food from the Zhu family?!  You must be looking for death!”

The gate to the Zhu house was closed, but Xia Ge could hear the too familiar snap of a whip hitting flesh and bone.  In a split second, her mind went blank and she was frantically pounding on the gate, yelling hoarsely: “Open the door!  Open the door!”

The falling snow was ice-cold, yet nothing was colder than the fear in Xia Ge’s heart.

No one paid any heed to her weak and cracked voice however.  Clinging to the bronze handle of the gate, Xia Ge felt the cold wind sinking into her bones, while off in the distance was the howling of wild dogs.  Then suddenly Xia Ge felt at a complete loss.

Who is she……why is she here?

Who was it that was inside……who was being whipped for her sake?

“Crack——”
“Crack——”

“……”

One lash, two lashes, many, many lashes……

“Tsk, it’s no good for her to die here, it’s bad luck.  Throw her out!”

The Zhu gate opened and Xia Ge, taken by surprise, fell inside before getting kicked out by a merciless foot: “Where the hell did this beggar come from?!  What’s your name?!  Squatting by our gate, here to steal what isn’t yours!?  Go to hell!  The sight of you is enough to make people sick!”

Getting kicked in an empty stomach that was already convulsed in hunger pangs was extremely painful, but Xia Ge was already past caring.

All of her attention was on the small girl covered in blood that’d been tossed out into the deep snow.

Heedless of the cold, Xia Ge staggered to the girl’s side: “Doudou, Doudou……Doudou……”

The girl did not react to Xia Ge’s words for a long time.  But then Doudou abruptly shoved Xia Ge aside, got to her feet, and started shambling in the direction of the woodshed.  Though she only made it a couple of steps before she fell back down into the snow, bleeding profusely.  Xia Ge ran to her, wanting to help her back up, but Doudou hissed: “Who are you?!  Go away, don’t touch me.  I have to go back……”

It seemed Doudou couldn’t see Xia Ge.  And Doudou’s usual soft voice had become gravelly, like her vocal chords had been injured. Possessing a ferocity Xia Ge had never detected from her before, Doudou was like a wounded animal, desperately safeguarding its last bit of clear light.

Afraid that grabbing Doudou would only aggravate the girl’s wounds, Xia Ge pushed down the pain in her gut and rasped out: “You shouldn’t move, stop moving!  I want to help, I’ll help you——”

Xia Ge next retreated a couple of steps, not wanting to upset Doudou any further.  Somehow sensing Xia Ge’s withdrawal, Doudou haltingly picked herself up, paying no attention to the blood dripping from her forehead.  Making red footprints in the snow, she stumbled forward: “I……I have to go back……”

Walking in the wet and slippery snow, Doudou again only made it a couple of steps before falling.  Heartstrings ruthlessly pulled, Xia Ge again tried to help, but Doudou slapped Xia Ge’s hand away: “Don’t!  Don’t touch me……”

Now Doudou’s rough voice held the faint hint of tears: “Shuangshuang is dying……Shuangshuang can’t die.”

“Shuangshuang……”

She crawled on her knees, leaving a bloody smear in the snow with every movement.

And she kept repeating the name.

Her tone simultaneously pained and tender.

Like a bucket of cold water had been poured over her, Xia Ge stiffened in place.

——Xia Ge had always figured her death in this world would mean nothing.  If the worst came to pass, she’d walk into the jaws of death without a fuss.  When, in the real world, she’d finally woken up from her coma, all she’d wanted was for her and her brother to live the good life together.  But, by some baffling turn of events, she’d woken up to a new hellhole.  One where she was a helpless child beggar, hungry, cold, with no hope of going home, and utterly alone.

Still, she’d believed a bad life was better than a good death.  If she could live, she should live.  And if she couldn’t?  Well, she’d just die, wouldn’t she?  It wasn’t like she had any family this world.  She didn’t know how to return to where she belonged and had no obvious path forward.  There was no one to care if she lived or died, so if she died——that might be the lucky stroke that allowed her to go home.

Maybe it was past time to change her way of thinking.  Instead of living without hope, she should die free and easy.

Only now Xia Ge was watching a cruelly bloodied girl crawl in the freezing snow, calling ‘Shuangshuang, Shuangshuang.’  Saying that Shuangshuang can’t die.

——Shuangshuang can’t die.

“Why?”  Xia Ge couldn’t stop herself, she had to ask.  She dragged her own weak body forward until she was kneeling in front of Doudou.  Placing her hands on Doudou’s shoulders, Xia Ge’s chest was full of ineffable anger.  Ignoring the tears running down her cheeks, Xia Ge howled in a hoarse voice: “She’s not worth it!”

Xia Ge knew she was no good.  When she’d lived as Xia Ge, she’d followed whatever whim took her fancy.  As Shuangshuang, she’d lived like nothing but trash.  How could such a person be worth someone else risking their life for them?!

“She is worth it……”  Doudou spat like an enraged little beast.  Black eyes open wide in fury, she then ferociously slapped Xia Ge: “Who are you?!  Who are you to ask that question?!  Let me tell you, if it is Shuangshuang——it is worth it!”

——If it is Shuangshuang, it is worth it.

The slap had barely stung, Doudou lacking any strength to put behind it.

But it had sobered Xia Ge up, reminding her of the obvious truth she’d been forgetting.

At this moment in time, she was not Xia Ge.  She was Shuangshuang.

She was free to decide the life or death of ‘Xia Ge.’  However she did not have the right to end the life of ‘Shuangshuang.’

It didn’t matter if Shuangshuang’s life was hopeless or promising.  Xia Ge was using Shuangshuang’s body, therefore Xia Ge had the responsibility to resolutely soldier on.