Love from the Male Protagonist’s Harem

Chapter 52-Faith [Buried Memories] Part 3

Translated by Snowfall77

Xia Ge had no right to end the life of anyone.  Besides, she was using the body of Shuangshuang.  ‘Xia Ge’ had to be set aside.

She was not Xia Ge, not trash, not a nobody.  She was Doudou’s only friend, Shuangshuang.

——Therefore, she was going to stay alive.

“I’m Shuangshuang……Doudou, it’s me, Shuangshuang.”

Doudou took a moment to react, her pitch-black eyes filled with light reflecting off the snow, but oddly blank: “Shuangshuang?  Why are you here?  You’re really Shuangshuang?  Why is everything dark……why can’t I see you……did I just……did I hit you?”
“Did it hurt?  Did it hurt?!  I’m sorry, Shuangshuang, I didn’t know it was you!”

Doudou started crying: “I didn’t mean to.  I can’t see.  I thought you were a ghost or a demon.  I thought some demon had come to steal me away  I’m hearing so many strange sounds, I’m sorry, sorry……waa……”

“It’s alright, it’s alright, it didn’t hurt, it didn’t hurt at all.  Doudou’s hands are very soft……”

Reaching out with trembling hands, Xia Ge gingerly touched the back of Doudou’s head.  Wet and warm.

Withdrawing her hands, Xia Ge found them painted red.

The whip had hit the back of Doudou’s head……and made her……blind?

Wiping the tears off her own face, Doudou reached out, wanting to touch Xia Ge’s face next, wanting to make sure that she was actually Shuangshuang.  A pungent mix of sweet and metallic scent filled Xia Ge’s nostrils as Doudou unwittingly smeared blood on her, while Doudou’s black eyes were wide but unseeing: “Shuangshuang, are you crying?”

Xia Ge caught hold of Doudou’s wrists, not wanting her tears to fall on Doudou’s hands, answering in a raspy voice: “I didn’t cry, no crying.  I’m fine.  You’re just feeling melted snowflakes.”

Freeing her wrists, Doudou carefully felt Xia Ge’s face again, her voice soft and sad: “Shuangshuang is lying……It’s too cold for snowflakes to melt and your tears are very warm.”

“Perhaps it’s because I……I’m so dazzling……I have a naturally high body temperature?”

Xia Ge tried to laugh and smile, but her body, wracked by sharp hunger, wouldn’t cooperate.  Staring into Doudou’s empty eyes, the tears just kept falling.

No, no.  Xia Ge told herself she couldn’t be like this.

She had to keep smiling in front of Doudou.  It didn’t matter if Doudou couldn’t see it.

“Shuangshuang, don’t cry.  You’re only good-looking when you smile.”  Doudou giggled foolishly, “Here Shuangshuang, eat something and you won’t cry anymore.”

To Xia Ge’s shock, Doudou then cautiously pulled half a steamed bun from her sleeve with a smile as bright as the sun breaking through clouds: “Shuangshuang, I’m very smart.  I hid it and they didn’t find it.  Hurry up and eat it, Shuangshuang.”

Frozen, Xia Ge didn’t move or say a word.  Doudou couldn’t understand why Xia Ge wasn’t responding.  But, groping around, Doudou found Xia Ge’s hand and dropped the half-bun into Xia Ge’s cold palm.

Doudou didn’t know the half-bun was stained with her blood.

And now, gazing down at the bloody half-bun in her palm, Xia Ge stayed still for a long time.

For the first time she knew that, even if she did indeed starve to death, there were some things she couldn’t bear to eat.

Wild dogs forlornly howled, and the wind and snow brought bitter cold.

“Shuangshuang, hurry up and eat.  When you’re done, you have to do me a favor.”

Xia Ge: “What favor, Doudou?”

“I want Shuangshuang to go to a village to the east.  There’s a girl there that I really like.  She likes to stand at the village entrance every night and look up at the stars.  When she does, her eyes are like stars too.  Beautiful.  Go there and tell her……tell her that Doudou has secretly liked her for a long, long, long time.”

Doudou’s tone was tender, and she widened her blank eyes: “Her eyes are black, very black, so black and so charming.  I really like her……Shuangshuang, eat the bun and then go see her, alright?”

A village to the east?  Distracted, Xia Ge didn’t know what to think.  Wasn’t Nanming the only village within a few hundred miles?

“……yes, good,” Xia Ge agreed, “Let’s go together, I’ll carry you on my back.”

“But I want only Shuangshuang to go.”  Doudou’s voice was so soft, “I’m too ugly right now, I’ll only scare her.  I don’t want her to see me like this, that’d make me too sad.”

“……”

“Please, Shuangshuang.”
 

Finally making it back to the woodshed, Xia Ge helped Doudou get settled.  The half-bun still in her hand, Xia Ge then turned to leave.

Opening the door, Xia Ge looked over her shoulder at the girl leaning against the wall in the corner.  The girl’s eyes were open, black and bright, as they didn’t need to see to know that Xia Ge was hesitating.

Xia Ge felt warm liquid coursing down her cheeks again.  Putting up a hand to touch, she found blood and tears both.

“Doudou, that girl, is she very beautiful?”

Doudou smiled: “Yes, she’s very beautiful.”

Xia Ge forced a chuckle: “If you’ve got such a good-looking girl that you like, why would you want me to stick around?  I think you’re a little cheat.”

Doudou pursed her lips, then faintly laughed: “It’s different……you’re my faith.”

“I need you to live well, that way you can give me strength.  You’ll bless me and keep me safe.”

Xia Ge gripped the chilled bun: “……mmm.”

“Swear to me, Shuangshuang.  Swear that you will live well.  I need to feel at ease.”

Tears trickled down Xia Ge’s chin and fell onto her thin lapel as she replied: “Very well.  I swear, no matter what, that I will keep living.”

“Wrong, swear to live well,” Doudou gently corrected.

“Yes, I will live well,” Xia Ge couldn’t hold back her sobs anymore.

“Go quickly.  If you go too late, you won’t be able to see the girl I like.”  Doudou’s smile was soft, her eyes like peach blossoms in full bloom, “And that would make me sad.”