Love from the Male Protagonist’s Harem

Chapter 52-Faith [Buried Memories] Part 4

Translated by Snowfall77

After Xia Ge left, she thought to herself that Doudou was truly beautiful.

She didn’t know why she hadn’t noticed it before, but now Xia Ge realized that Doudou might the most beautiful girl she’d ever seen.

Wild dogs still howling in the distance, Xia Ge walked through the night, the moon and stars lighting her way.  By the time the dogs’ cacophony faded mournfully away, Xia Ge found the village to the east of Nanming.  She went door to door to find its prettiest girl.

Naturally, she didn’t discover any good-looking girls.

Because what girl could be better-looking than Doudou?

No, it wouldn’t work.

Xia Ge made a new plan.  Every village girl she ran across, she would tell them very seriously about a girl named Doudou who probably liked them.  She would explain to them how Doudou, after washing her face in the stream, would deliberately make herself laugh, and finally, how Doudou was sweet as hell.  Then, after saying all that, Xia Ge would have be thick-skinned and ask for something to eat.

The village to the east was also suffering from famine, so not many were willing to give Xia Ge food.  But Xia Ge begged with a smiling face all the same.  Holding tight to what little food she’d gained, Xia Ge intended to hurry back to Nanming.

For Xia Ge did not believe in some pretty girl who would come out at night, to stand at the village entrance and star-gaze.  The only reason she’d come to this village was to get food, get back to Nanming, and find a way to treat Doudou’s injuries.

“Ya, little girl with a strange face……”  A fellow beggar in hemp saw the direction Xia Ge was headed in and grabbed her arm, “Where are you going?”

“I’m going to Nanming village.”  Xia Ge was anxious in her heart.  A full night and day had passed, and now that she had food, she would try trading it for medicine for Doudou from Nanming’s doctor——

“Don’t go to Nanming village!”  The other beggar’s eyes popped out, “A porter went there this morning, and when he came back, he said that Nanming village had been hit by a tide of evil spirits last night——oh, are you from Nanming?”

“Then you’re very lucky……”  The beggar’s tone turned sympathetic, “Did you have anyone important to you there?”

Stars unfeelingly twinkled overhead as Xia Ge stood at the entrance of the village, the food in her hands falling to the ground.

“……what did you say?”

Evil spirit tide……

When evil spirits gather together in the night, and devour people, and any village that encounters a wave of them is reduced to nothing but skeletons of the dead.

——And people who are dying can sense when the evil tide is coming……

——I didn’t mean to.  I can’t see.  I thought you were a ghost or a demon.  I thought some evil spirit had come to steal me away.  I’m hearing so many strange sounds, I’m sorry, sorry……waa……

Xia Ge rushed through the night.  But when she got back to Nanming village, there was not one living person.

In the faint light of dawn, Nanming village was a dead place that’d been seized by evil spirits.

Doudou was nowhere to be found.

Everyone—everyone was gone.

When Xia Ge went to the Zhu house, she found only pools of dark red.

The sunshine couldn’t dispel the thick demonic qi and everywhere reeked of blood.

It seemed that when an evil spirit ate a person, they wouldn’t leave even a skeleton behind.

In the ramshackle woodshed, Xia Ge knelt, staring blankly at the puddle of blood for a long time.

It turned out……there really were evil spirits who devoured people in this world.

She should have……she should have recognized it sooner.

Thought about how the dogs had howled the night she’d left.

Thought about Doudou who’d never even left Nanming village.  How could she have known or liked a girl in a village to the east?

Hurt.  It hurt so much.

With trembling hands, Xia Ge took out of her sleeve the blood-stained half-bun that Doudou had given her, then staggered to the crooked tree where they’d watched the stars together.  There Xia Ge buried the bun and erected a blank stele for her friend.

Because Xia Ge had just realized that she didn’t even know Doudou’s real name.

She’d never asked Doudou for it.  Never asked about Doudou’s family or how Doudou had become a beggar.

Xia Ge didn’t know anything, she didn’t understand anything.  When she’d come to this world, she just muddleheadedly tried to get by, asking no questions and living indifferently.

Her reason for being like that was simple enough.  She felt like she was in a dream.

But what basis had she had to treat it all like it wasn’t real?

While Xia Ge had been apathetic and acting like everything was an empty illusion, Doudou had been saying those things……

Xia Ge knelt in front of the blank stele for a long time, tears flowing as she cried her heart out.

It was the saddest she’d been since arriving in this world.  Because it’d finally become clear to her that this was a real world.

In this world, there had been a girl called Doudou.  So that Xia Ge could stay alive, Doudou had risked her own life to steal half a steamed bun.  Doudou had lied to Xia Ge and tricked Xia Ge into leaving.  Then, all alone in the corner of a dilapidated woodshed, faced the pain of her wounds and a raging tide of evil spirits.

Except for Xia Ge, no one knew that in this vast, lonely world, there’d been a child called Shuangshuang who had been Doudou’s faith.

Xia Ge couldn’t even remember how she’d left Nanming village.  All she knew was that she’d dishonorably put on the name Xia Wuyin——as if by doing so she could erase that she’d been the girl that Doudou had adored.  That she’d been the Xia Ge who’d caused Doudou’s death.

Shuangshuang……

In the depths of Xia Ge’s heart, Shuangshuang would sleep in eternal rest alongside the dead Doudou.

But Xia Ge still had to live in Shuangshuang’s place.

She’d made a promise.

Although every night Xia Ge’s dreams were filled with devouring evil spirits.  And Doudou would be there too, drenched in blood, dying, but still looking at Xia Ge with tender eyes.

And then the gentle girl would be torn apart, gobbled by demons, until not even her bones were left.

While Xia Ge helplessly watched.

Doudou’s soft voice ringing in Xia Ge’s ears……

——Shuangshuang, you must live well.

Xia Ge had used to hate her weaknesses.  Yet after Doudou’s death, Xia Ge grew to fear undertaking any responsibility.

She lacked the strength be anyone else’s faith.

Even if she did gain power, that wouldn’t change anything.

She couldn’t save anyone.

She was too useless.

——It’s different……you’re my faith.

Xia Ge never wanted to see someone covered in blood for her sake again.

She had no desire to be powerful or have people count on her, and she couldn’t be so weak that others died because of her.

Because faith was bullshit.

She was only the inadequate Xia Wuyin.

Nothing more.

tn-well, this chapter was freaking sad